letters in teary ink

These Words are my own, from my heart flow....

2011-06-20T08:39:00.000-07:00

Dear love,

Just wanted to tell you that. I appreciate you from the bottom of my heart.

I try I try I TRY I TRY so much to keep it all in. I cant forget the words you told me...

Can you? Can you be the one to hold me no matter what happens? Can you be there to hold me when I cry? Who is going to if you walk away?

Lastly, but not least, If I run away, will you leave me be alone? Or will you chase after me?

Love, Kav.

Maybe I'm just dreaming out loud.

2010-04-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

Wow, this blogging thing feels insane. I haven't done it in so long. I thought about it randomly, so here I am....face to face with my mac, listening to the clock tick. tick. tick. Having the most obnoxious two weeks left of my undergraduate career. Being 21 and doing unimaginable things. Fun things. I'm going to miss college so much.

I don't know what to say, and I don't know who reads this anymore? So I'll just leave you with this beautiful thought, the way the beautiful sun rises in Phoenix. I'm never ever going to forget this place, ever. I'm never going to forget you.

Hello world
Hope you're listening Forgive me if I'm young
For speaking out of turn
There's someone I've been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They're in their own place trying to make it right
But I'm tired of justifying
So i say you'll..

Come home
Come home
Cause I've been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I've ever known
So come home

I remember Stormy Weather

2009-12-09T17:52:00.000-08:00

When it stormed on Monday night, I sat by my window watching. I don't remember the last time it stormed so bad you could hear the wind howl through the vents, or even watch palm trees bend at a 45 degree angle. Despite warnings on local stations, the drive home was beautiful. Cross winds up to 40 miles and hour and breezing down the freeway at 75mph. It literally felt as though I was driving on air. What a beautiful storm. The aftermath was almost surreal. With broken glass, uprooted trees, trash trash trash everywhere. It felt so real. Like alive. Like destruction was proof that we live and breathe this life- the only unedited, untouched, unmodified aspect of our lives.....

Noviembre

2009-11-10T20:25:00.000-08:00

I stopped watching Grey's Anatomy this summer. I was addicted completely like you and your blackberry. But one day this summer, I woke up and stopped thinking about it. Stopped watching it. Stopped making references to it. I went cold turkey on one of the bests series in television history. Now I watch ditzy shows like 90210 because Liam is hot and who doesn't love Blair on gossipgirl? These are great but they're the kind of series you can watch while you are doing homework...but Grey's Anatomy WAS homework. It had to be done. It had to be watched. Whatever happened??

Meredith Grey, though fictional, spoke words of wisdom, words of innermost desires, hopes, dreams, fears and deepest darkest dirtiest skeletons hiding in your closet. I would start watching it again but the truth is, watching it reminds me of you. It reminds me how we'd fight over the tv and how I'd torture you with the hot cold yes no love story of Meredith and Derek. But most importantly, it reminds me of choices. It reminds me of consequences. It reminds me of chances. It reminds me of Meredith's constant risk-taking in her medical career...but safety and security in her personal life.

I just remembered this because I just registered for an intensive science and medical writing course next semester. Good to know hospitals are running 24/7...perfect for an insomniac like me!

Who blogs anymore? Everyone's facebooking and twittering around!

Let the countdown begin. 2 weeks to thanksgiving. 5 weeks to schools over. 6 weeks to christmas. 7 weeks til 2010. 11 weeks till my 21st birthday!!!! OMG

I really so badly want to put on flannel pjs and slip under the covers. But Phoenix in November is apparently Phoenix in June- shirt, shorts, flipflops while the rest of america is cozying it up with hot chocolate.

Night lovers!

thoughts, just thoughts.

2009-09-28T18:56:00.000-07:00

It's crazy isn't it? This whole Chicago-Phoenix thing. I wish I knew how it works. then sometimes, i'd rather not. It's weird. It's every place downtown. Memories, one way or another. It's a math equation dying to be solved. I know the answer, but I don't have a pen. Then write in blood, write in blood.

Faces, places, names and games- what did we not do? I can smell Fall in the air, it's a different kind. It's crisp heat that winds down at night, clean appley scent. You remember appley scents don't you? Do we forget as time goes on?

Hungover mornings after the Myst, scrambling to get dressed for school. Midnight rendezvous downtown singing Coldplay and Kings of Leon.

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

All these thoughts from a simple my big fat greek restaurant card that fell out of my wallet today.

Lazy june summer nights

2009-06-25T19:01:00.001-07:00

CNN and AP news put two icons on blast on their sudden deaths that rippled worldwide devastation. Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. Yes, its sad to hear..I don't think any newsroom has been chaotic since the inauguration of President Obama. One of the many devastated fans, my mother, she is zoned into reminiscing about good old days with MJ's greatest hits. R.I.P

Who knew so much history would go down this generation?

What a way to start up a blog post, this poor thing has been abandoned since IDK when. I don't have a legitimate reason as to why I just stopped writing...I guess l just fell off the face of the earth of blogosphere! I've been having such a great summer, not worrying about school for once. It's nice while it lasts! I feel like I'm ready to take on senior year in August! The weather's really hot Hot HOT its sweltering here in Phoenix, so many lazy days hanging out...so many days by the pool and bbqing! Life is good!

Transformers was so GOOD. Josh Duhamel is hot. Megan Fox was SMOKIN! She has that amazing tan i love it! I was at the midnight premiere living off 2 hours of sleep the previous night BUT ALL WORTH IT! if you haven't seen it you have to!

So Im back to chilling by the pool and listening to MJ tribute thats blasting on itunes..

until later, lovers!

2009-04-19T17:29:00.000-07:00

CARPE DIEM

2008-12-10T15:41:00.000-08:00

"He's right, Car. I'm afraid. There's a part of me that wants to let him in but then I feel myself put this wall up and I don't understand why. Maybe that's what strikes me the most about Kostas: That despite everything he's suffered he can still look at life in the most uncomplicated way. I've never known that kind of faith. It makes me so sad that people like Kostas and Bridget who have lost everything can still be open to love...while I, who have lost nothing, am not."

-- Lena Kaligaris

What about now?

2008-10-24T20:30:00.000-07:00

Can't complain about a busy, hectic life right now. It sure does keep my mind off [other] things. I think any free time obtained is bad- it makes you think, it makes you contemplate, makes you wonder about the things you said or didn't say. I'd say free time is unnecessary. We rush to uni, work, then projects, interviews, photo shoots, and come home and crash. Then it repeats the next day. Then over the weekend, you might have occasional drunkfests, breaking into neighbors houses, midnight runs to dennys or ihop, just a good old fun time. Then the week starts again, and it's back to putting makeup, dressing, eating, or possibly interviewing when stuck in traffic. Of course 104.7 Kiss FM helps along the way. Plus, bonuses like meeting Tokio Hotel last weekend, getting ready for Halloween Bash, election night, exams and important Cronkite events, semester end projects, and crazy runs barefoot all around downtown.

Anything to keep my mind off you.

The sweetest note possible

2008-10-16T22:31:00.000-07:00

I'm utterly disgusted. Some people make me want to gag. I just had a whole Chipotle chicken burrito and trust me, gag reflexes are brimming. The truth is, one person can truly make me gag. Hands down to you woman, I should be on my knees worshipping your ability to make me nastily vomit all over my top, and still have residue all over my face.

I wanted a graphic explanation right there. I can't well describe you, because, you are undescribable- in a negative way of course. Oh, and the gag thing too. I'm having a hard time typing while having this urgency to throw up all over my laptop. Seriously, I thought med school queasiness, 301 interviews and hangovers were all that triggered, but my, you succeed in making me gag even at my sober state.

I think you would be an inspiration for a new diet. Move over Atkins and South Beach, we've found a better substitute for instant weight loss. Move over anorexia and bulimia, this diet sure makes everyone gag- even without food intake.

I haven't got the time to bitch lately, plus all that throwing up is costing my energy. I wish we could communicate on better terms, but I think communication is completely unnecessary at this point. So please I beg you, lets stay our separate ways.

Love, Kav

secrets revealed.

2008-10-14T00:33:00.000-07:00

Midnight posts should be entertaining but I have not much to list here except that I'm beyond exhausted. This semester I've been canceling stunts off my bucket list like no tomorrow which is amazing. Facebook is getting annoying, I hate the new version. I'm hardly on it now, and I hate having to sign on just to de-tag outrageous pictures some idiots- who I love to death- tend to post. You know what I'm talking about. Those career bomb pictures your boss can like never see...ever.

I want to delete FB. I came so close to doing it but I realized, damn, I have like familia all over this universe and our only contact is FB sadly. Ah technology, what would I do without you?

These past couple weeks have been interesting, everyday is a rush unfortunately. I have found out ways to access people's records. Is that creepy? My editor can access my FB account even though he's not on my friends list. He can view my profile, pictures, comments, whatevers on there. IS THAT NOT CREEPY tell me??! Yeah, thus the contemplation to keep FB or not. Anyway, just to let you guys know- I know its illegal and all, but I do have access to your private records. Think bank, credit cards, status, criminal, education, children, etc.

You know it's fabulous, my partner in J-crime and I spent the last couple hours looking up details of....professors, sluts, ex-boyfriends, bosses and all that fun stuff.

Who knew backgrounding would be so entertaining? Law majors- you know what I'm talking bout! (:

Destination Truth

2008-10-03T15:53:00.000-07:00

Hey gorgeous amazing world, how are you? I'm doing great actually, and by great I mean surviving with the ups and downs. Recently, life has been throwing in things that require commitments and lots of it. I guess it's just educating me with personal issues and whatnot.

I did a costume story for a Halloween issue for ASU's press which made me head down to the FAWSOME mega costume stores downtown. I love Halloween, who doesn't? I remember how back in secondary school my friends and I would be pumped for Oct 31st cause we would go trick or treating door to door in those amazing private estates right by my place in Woodlands. I think in Woodlands is the only "city" in the whole of Singapore to go all out for Halloween. It's just like a mini USA; people really spend on costumes, candy, and house decor. Plus, NTUC..or is it ShopN'Save..or FairPrice? what is it?! Well anyway in that grocery store, they have a mini American Isle where you can get awesome goodies like DR Pepper, Easymac, tootsie rolls, kool aid and all those fun stuff! It was ridiculously expensive but so worth it (:

ok, got sidetracked, sorry.

Ohyeah, we're working on these blogs for Online Media class and everybody has to have their own themed blog. So I decided to focus on TRAVEL! woooohoooo who doesnt completely love traveling! It's going to be a guide to best destinations, must-see places and all that fun stuff you know. So, if you have been somewhere ahhhhhmazing and want to recommend it to the world, or ASU students, do tell me where it is, send me pictures that YOU have taken (and you will be credited of course), tell me what you did, what you saw, where you shopped, ate, slept whatever. and tell me why you loved it!

I'll feature this in my travel blog, which is currently under construction now. I did the first post on Singapore, so my fellow friends in sg, send me pictures of scenery, nightlife, coffeeshops, buildings, whatever picture worthy of places in Singapore that you have personally taken. I don't really like grabbing pictures online, so if you send me them, I don't mind crediting you.

and also anywhere else around this world! Where was your summer destination? gorgeous beaches? amazing resorts? breathtaking views? stunning buildings? historic sites? fabulous shopping malls?

Your recommendations will be appreciated.

peace!

2008-09-29T00:26:00.000-07:00

" If you wanna play it like this, lets do this. You, me, and this mind-blowing bottle of magic "

- M

Stylebook and Starbucks

2008-09-22T13:33:00.000-07:00

I cant begin to describe how mindfucking the stylebook is. Everyday for the past 4 weeks have been hardcore stylebooking. Everyday is a coffee run to the Starbucks on central. I have a mini fridge in my room now and its stocked with Lipton raspberry, black, sweetened, unsweetened, lemon tea and starbucks frapps. I'm on a coffee and tea craze, oh wonderful.

Security asked me why I'm in a sweater in the 100 degree weather and I snapped at him. I feel so bad because I see him every night before he locks up the Cronkite school. Or does the Cronkite School ever lock up? Seems to be the mystery question. I heard the faculty have popcorn and icecream night while watching CNN on the second floor lobby. Maybe I'll hide out and do a story on that. Anyway, its freezing in the building all the time and sometimes I forget that I live in a desert, the temperature outside does get to a 120F and I'm in a sweater. Plus, with 301 on my mind, my entire body's gone numb and my mind's still on deadlines- like today.

City Council meeting on a monday night? again? Why does everything fall on monday nights?! Don't they know that Gossipgirl and One Tree Hill is on tonight? God dammit. There goes another day editing til one fucking a.m.

On the more positive end, West Times is publishing my story so its all good. Thursday night will be pulling an all nighter for Friday's deadline.

I haven't been to the movies in forever. I want to watch Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist and what else is out?

Friday is going to be awesome. I'm going to do a project video on House of Pain, literally. Keep you posted on that. Check out facebook I might post it there if its not too revolting.

Busy, busy week! I miss all of you!!!!

(yes I will change the layout soon when Im not busting through doors!)

A twist in my story

2008-09-18T00:58:00.000-07:00

Im sitting on this leopard print lazyboy armchair typing my business report thats due tomorrow. Its currently 1am and the only thing I can hear is the humming of the refrigerator and the ticking of the clock. I can't help but smile. I'm grinning like an idiot because I realized something so .. true. Like one of life's philosophies, only better.

So here I am, stressed as ever, tired and sick. but with a smile plastered across my face.

I am starting to comprehend the games of life, and since now I know the rules, I am going to win.

I will emerge stronger, better than you.

2008-08-16T23:54:00.000-07:00

God help me seal this once and forall, like a time capsule itching to be buried by the favorite oak tree. Lets dig up the soil with our bare hands shall we? Familiarity with the ground as we all end up there eventually. Make me not only a time capsule. I need a time, love, distance, heartbreak, need to forget someone for now- capsule.

I'll dig it up in 5 years I promise.

Who is a journalist without a blog? How can I be one when I carve more words in my heart and have nothing to say to the world? Maybe I want to rewind time. 40 years ago. Maybe my existance would have saved john from being abandoned on upper thomson road. Maybe my existance would have saved my grand-aunt from taking her own life. Maybe my existance would have saved my (***) from crossing paths with (*******) so i wouldnt have to suffer this generation.

Suffer is a bit too extreme i guess. Im allowed to be over dramatic... why so many emotions compressed in this heart of mine. Its ridiculously frustrating and distracting.

Maybe time will heal... why the fuck am I lying to myself. Time wont fucking heal. I've witnessed my loved ones still be hung up on something/someone after years and years.

There's no such thing as a perfect world, is there?

I got a new ride. Chevy Cobalt. Pimpin it out this weekend. Its gorgeous GORGEOUS probably more gorgeous than any boy I will ever meet.

plus, it wont break my heart.

2008-05-15T22:26:00.000-07:00

Double Fudge Brownie BnJ's : $10
Guitar Hero: $80
X packs of Heineken: $32
X packs of Miller Light: $15
X packs of Corona: $22
Baileys Creme: $15

Running to the neighbors house to get Tylenol : PRICELESS

for everything else, there's Mastercard

Best hangover food

2008-03-21T20:11:00.000-07:00

Dear diary, I actually am sick of crime stories. I said,Cosmo not the freaking New York Times. My grammar and punctuation has tipped perfection as people who dont put commas in the right places should really just jump off a cliff. I am not punctuating this blog entry- for gods sake gimme something that i can type rubbsih on adn not wrry bout grmmar. I want to be like Dan. You know, a poet or something dark and mysterious. Maybe smoke camel and perv on people. or move to paris and write a novel. I have too many distractions so im really rethinking the idea of moving up to the himalayas with the monks and find my inner peace or something. but then id have to go cold turkey on all my disgusting, cheap habits. and my mind would have to be pure. yeah right.

anyway, that wont be happening until i start wrinkling, oh the joys of getting old and surrendering to the goodness and nature. we are living too fast arent we? My thoughts, priorities and clothes are scattered everywhere. How can I be so stable yet so unstable?

The heart can be at two places at once. always have, always will be.

Anyway, back to the point of this entry...best hangover food. Id say fresh strawberries and trader joe's soy ricecrackers. ohh they are so gooooood. and tylenol to cure that excruciating throbbing pain.

Political opinions and sensational rocker addictions

2008-02-19T23:16:00.000-08:00

When did politics and videogames become my forte?

Ever been on the verge of quitting school and giving up on life already only to realise that you've got yourself stuck in this haze of mental unstability, time not being on your side and accustomed to stress 24/7, yet find yourself strutting down mill ave, swearing at your gorgeous heels, singing britney and throwing up after too much everything.

overwhelming i say.

Politics is so necessary in this field although im highly unsupportive of it. I have way too many opinions that go against my ethical responsibilities but what the heck. Facts and truth are so overrated. This industry is intense. Instead of mastering mass communication law, I have mastered the art of grand theft auto. In other words, I am the best car jacker and hooker killer in the history of GTA. Though my driving skills tend to be really fucked up, my real life driving compensates for that so its all good. My lunch breaks consists of rockstar parties with guitar hero - the solution to all of life's problems.

Im so so so stressed im going to buy guitar hero, quit school and become a ROCKSTAR!

Spiderpigs, green blobbles, constipated chipmunks, and bffs named jill

2008-01-19T20:30:00.000-08:00

I don't think reality ever sets in for me unless its one of those nights when im completely awake and staring at my ceiling. These days I come home drained, strained and fast asleep by 10pm. As my room gets emptier by each week, I can only imagine how it feels like to be back in reality. The holidays have whizzed by way too fast and so has my money. Amazing. and first week of uni is over. This is going faster than i expected. I am ready to engage in my busy life once again when i leave home before sunrise and back way past sunset. This "home" is beginning to feel more like a hotel again.

I havent had time to properly miss people. To accept the fact that they actually left and the holidays are actually over. I'd rather not, actually. I pray that my days are busy for the next 15 weeks and when they're not, I pray to be drunk or asleep. To live my life like a true journalist- to turn pain into excelent writng, to master spanish, and smoke in menthol that supposedly gives you the greatest ideas for stories that make the newyork times hitlist. To survive on starbucks and nerd glasses and public speaking with killer shoes that murder thy feet.

I really cant imagine surviving this semester, let alone this amazing 2008. We'll see.

The third and final miserable weekend awaits tomorrow at the airport. Im surprised im still alive actually. I can write you a whole novel on how the airport is the most depressing place in this entire universe. Leaving is painful- I know, Im pretty much pro at knowing how to feel and what to expect but to be left is a whole different story. a different kind of pain, you know? Either way, its a lose-lose.

mm yeah... I'll miss you. all of you.
till we meet again <3

2007-12-22T01:59:00.000-08:00

Its 3am on a cold saturday morning. My room is a huge dump and in two hours we would be leaving for san diego. Saran has mummified herself into a huge roll of...saran. sleeping! and nats doing the do do in the bathroom. the past week has got us broke, tired, and really constipated with coldstone icecream overdose. time to leave the valley of the sun.....but before we go, here's a pic to last you till winter.

bye hottie mchotties. see you in 2008! <3

what's hiding behind that invisible wall?

2007-12-10T18:39:00.000-08:00

Is the true story of why things turn out the way they do, why people really leave, and why they show up again. why its so hard to forgive, ever harder to forget, and extremely hard to keep thinking what if. what we really see through these eyes, really think through this mind, and really mean what we say. what really happened. who were really involved. who really meant the things they said, and who really said the things they meant. what lies were told to cover up the truth. what truth were there in those lies. whats stopping us from telling. whats causing us to sin. and how they all tied back into one. every puzzle waiting to be solved. every doubt waiting to be cleared. what really happened behind those doors...and whats hiding behind that wall. secrets..if this is what you call, it shouldnt be legal.

for once, wouldnt you like to know the truth?

2007-12-04T12:37:00.001-08:00

Im on a roll! I got into MIST last night cause of B's birthday party and she simply asked the bouncers that she wanted so badly for me (underaged) to get in. This is how we roll- life is sweet when you know peeps who work at bars! Same with janelle and her now fiance when he worked at radius. and omg how could i forget to mention this!! life is slipping by ahhh- couple weeks ago, mark and I sneaked in with camera and public relations crew to see kelly clarkson! the gammage was so crowded, we were singing backstage! then cronkite peeps arrived and we had to split before they saw us there or kick us out cause we didnt have tix. brief but i loved it! We overdosed on tobelerone swiss chocs after that, it was good times.

yeah..i realise i stop blogging about the good ol' things - well there you go! couple exciting things over the past few weeks. been really busy with finals and prep for next semester. did i mention i put up a mini christmas tree? its red and pretty! with loads of presents under it mhhmmm.

yeah anyway, next week is awesome!

I LOVE YOU GORGEOUS PEOPLE!

ps: people born on the 4th of december are phenomenal.

drink down and your candles burn

2007-11-27T20:39:00.000-08:00

November, sleepy november. Going by fast. The entire semester boils down to this friday and the next two weeks. Sometimes i forget that 07 is nearing to the end, and soon i will be another year older. Wiser, maybe, in a way..i guess. Stronger, definitely. smarter, id like to think so. mmmm i can smell the holidays nearing. so close yet so far away..

I feel nostalgic, not so much now since im sick. Im happy, sad, confused, excited, heartbroken, high, whatever the holidays bring.. all gets down to tiredness when there's too many emotions all at once. really really tired. I've lost my drive to blog about happy things.. cause good things dont last forever right? god im sucha pessimist.

Every year we yearn to push our painful memories behind and walk into the new year afresh. Every year we make a new years resolution list that we give up on midway january. Every year we have expectations of what new years eve will be like, when it turns out completely unpredictable. Every year crazy people like us are out on the streets screaming our hearts out and welcoming the new year with thousands of strangers who feel the same way : tired, high, drunk and ready to face 08!

you guys ready for it?

2007-11-06T18:55:00.000-08:00

So I had this emo post in mind, about how people change. But whats new, really? Besides living in this world of constant changing, i feel like i want to be the same person.. but i guess no one can ever be the same person anymore. Yeah yeah its so easy to say lets just pick up where we left off, but we've all become strangers. Its scary, it makes the heart skip a couple beats- and not in the good way. These are times when i feel like i can relate to onetreehill alot. Peyton says, people always leave. I believe i got used to that fact longgg longgggg ago. Im a crazy, wild, people person. but my heart doesnt open up easily. I guess some people finally reach the point in their lives when their brain processes what to send to the heart, and what not to. mmhmm, i have a super cool brain indeed.

5 weeks is a really short time. Its unbelievable. but with uni, it feels like forever. I find it annoying how people complain that they've not seen their loved ones in weeks/months. Get over yourselves, Im obviously stronger than you. I've not seen most of the important people in my life for years and im still alive arent I? Call this one of life's challenges. I fucking aced it. so dont be a little bitch and complain that you've not seen people in forever. i'll show you what forever means.

Why cant we just get what we want? Why cant girls just get along? Why are boys so damn complicated? Why is uni being a bitch? How do we escape this? I dont know about you but i do know that im going to the happiest place on earth-literally. with awesome people. and we are going to escape reality. I heard that its going to be fucking gorgeous, guys. Since its the holiday season, the place will be decked out in fake snow, frozen ice, lots of merry happy colorful lights. If i die in a [uni] combat zone, box me up and ship me home [there].

I cant wait for the best 2007 year end holiday! seems so near but yet so far! someone please just give me a time machine! anyway, my friend Brianna is mean! she says that i want to date a dork in uni so that he can do all my homework while i party...[good idea btw] but im not THAT mean.

K: Dorks are hot!
B: yeah, in the ill-do-all-your-homework kinda way.
K: ): Stop abusing me.....

Im such a liar when i say that brooding bad boys are not hot. IM SO IN DENIAL! i hate that i love bad boys..but they're so goddamn sinful you know..and addictive.... you girls know.... but you know what? ill pick a seth cohen over a ryan atwood anyday baby [:

[in jmc class..]

K: okay i confess....im addicted to badboys... ):
A: im addicted to assholes...
K: same difference. boohoo!
A: we make a pretty good heartbreak team
K: yeah, except we're on the losing end....
K,A : CRY!

yes, we are girls. and when lectures get boring, we tend to talk about boys, hickeys, hot CMM boys, random hot boys in class we've never noticed, planning when our professors will kick the bucket, doodling, planning what to do on fridays..

girls will always be girls

and boys will be boys i guess....ugh.

2007-10-25T17:50:00.000-07:00

MY BOYS. THEY'RE BACK!

History is repeating itself. i fucking love this.

2007-10-23T15:42:00.000-07:00

this bitter, but sweet sense of confusion you know? i really dont know how to explain it; how to make you feel how i feel. all i feel is numbness and missing; eyes glued shut . tears. and mascara staining my cheeks. why do some people want to walk back right in? why does the past want to walk back in? i thought i needed more time but whats time anyway? when years feels like decades but feels like time froze when we talk. for once, i dont have the answers. i dont know what will happen and my heart may just stop beating. its nice to hear again. its beautiful to know how much of an impact this is. it hurts so bad but feels so good. makes you immune to this. because we live a life filled with too many emotions, will we become immune to emotions one day? will we just be numb forever?

its easier to feel numb forever.

but its fucking amazing to put yourself through this whirlwind we call LIFE.

2007-10-15T17:30:00.000-07:00

just [click]

2007-10-12T16:29:00.000-07:00

sexy eyes you'd die for

Some may know him as the overly sexy and priviledged young man from the new CW series GossipGirl, and others well just never heard of him.

As the lights dimmed, and words turned into whispers in the College of Design Auditorium, I sat there whispering to my friend about how boring this lecture was going to be. We are such back row slackers. There was an empty seat beside me, so why not place my bag on it instead of leaving it on the somewhat trashed floor. The lecturer started to lecture with the powerpoint, and all i could hear was kelly clarkson's voice ringing in my ear. oh, i still had one earpiece of my ipod dangling on my right ear. Whatever. id listen to this than fall asleep in this lecture.

Looking ahead at the powerpoint in an almost pitch black room was killing my eyes. I noticed my vision getting darker a bit. Ohno, it better not be my contacts. It wasnt. Instead from the corner of my right eye, i could see a shadow. a dark lurking shadow. I looked up and saw this tall boy dressed in a dark collared business shirt with matching pants. Dark hair, mesmerizing eyes. holy shit he had mesmerizing eyes. It somewhat twinkled as he stared straight into my eyes. whoa, intimidating.

He starts to speak but its as though my mind is playing in slow motion. I looked at him, confused. He points to the seat.

"Is anyone sitting here?"

Of course not. thank god not! Yes this pretty boy can sit right by me. I grabbed my bag off the seat.

He sits, stretching his arms both ways, yawning then looking around with a bored face. I felt something poking me in my left arm. ow. Wait, no somethings biting me. omg. what is it? I look to my left and Angela [my friend whos sitting by me] is digging her freshly manicured nails into my arm.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

Something vibrated. Got a text on my cell. It read :

OMG i want to eat him yumm

It was from Angela [: Before i even had time to send her an equally yummy text back, i caught someone leaning over to read the text.

It was him.

"What are you doing?" I said, and quickly snapped by phone shut.

"ohha ah im really bored...." he said.

I felt my earphones being tugged at. He took the left ear piece that was dangling freely and placed it in his ear. I felt that biting sensation on my left arm again.

"ah, i love kelly clarkson..she's coming down to asu ya'know"

me: " omg yeah im doing a report on that concert, its gonna be awesome!!"

him: "hell yeah we should go. we'll do a kelly clarkson tailgate or something yeah?"

me: " yeah! count me in! "

him: "yeah thatll be tight. im keith. and you are...? "

" Kavitha. just call me Kay "

We shake hands. how formal.

[big biting sensation returns!]

me: "oh, and this is my friend Angela."

Angela couldnt wipe that grin across her face cause she's annoying like that.

This boy had the most gorgeous eyes with thick straight angled eyebrows which gives off the mysterious look. He smelled sooo good like us girls literally wanted to eat him. Dark, short, choppy i just-got-out-of-bed hair. He had natural jet black hair. Clothes that smelled like cigs. He looked like the hottest most attractive stoner i have ever met.

i wish i could just snap a picture and let you guys see the real deal. but then, i may come across as weird and stalkerish. so the closest definition would be...think stoner and mysterious chuck bass from gossipgirl...this one's only a hundred times hotter.

TGIF and peace out! <3

I LIVE LIKE A FRAT BOY

2007-10-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

I LIVE LIKE A FRAT BOY

Janella schenlla said she would commit suicide if she had to live with me [and my mess] thanks bitch.

My next three weeks of school consists of exams and major papers due. such love. At least tomorrow is friday so its applebees and then crash home. I havent slept too much this week at all.

New skin. The old one is depressing for some reason.

Just got back from sin city over the weekend. You guys think im crazy going there very frequently. Hey, i dont complain and it sure is my getaway! The next time i hit the strip, it will be with fucking gorgeous people with crazy intentions like me. and awesome fireworks. mmhmm.

i dont have much to blog about these days. and, people dont want to hear about the same things, parties, food, uni, friends etc. someone give me an air ticket to rome and i promise i will blog religiously there because its so beautiful! I want to go to rome!!

October is fucking gorgeous here in Arizona! stunning sunsets!

ill have something to blog about. later.

2007-10-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

I'll be leaving az this weekend. need to get my mind off uni and need to get the hell out of here. you know where to reach me<3

2007-10-03T19:51:00.001-07:00

Recent addiction.

Watch the series, read the books. This one reveals all the gossip and secrets before the first book ever.

go get lost in their superficial world

seeya bitches

2007-09-29T20:12:00.000-07:00

soon to surrender to sober friday nights. ew.

im a champion drinker. last night, i downed 6 nasty whiskey double shots before entering the house (house rule), then i had countless cups of beer, and also downed 20 seconds worth of keg doing a handstand on the kegger.

NOW BEAT THAT RECORD BITCHEZZZ

2007-09-23T16:32:00.000-07:00

walking down mill ave past midnight, giggling in pain with our stomachs filled with pasta. talking to random strangers. carrying each other on our backs, falling purses, money cards ids everywhere. giggling on the floor insanely. "drunk dialing" people even though we were sober. running past bars and talking with random hot security bouncers. finally stepping into one placing ourselves in the corner smoking out strawberry daiquiri. dancing to shop boys. sexy physical flirting w/ random hotties in the next table. sexy accents. sloppy kissing pictures taken. flashes too bright, drinks flying everywhere. numbers exchanged. clothes pulled on. clothes missing. . clothes found. more dancing. beer offered. offer rejected. designated driver required. saying bye. polite kisses with le french/italian boys. walking barefoot. giggling. back to dorms. crash.

i say, party while you're young and crazy.

2007-09-18T13:49:00.000-07:00

How do we escape this superficial and complex world that we live in? Why is the media screwing with our minds and transforming us into huge materialistic freaks? When did doctor 90210 become our best friend? How can we handle the drama going on in our lives AND the drama on THE HILLS ? Why is there so much competition to be the most gorgeous no matter how artificial you really are. (made of plastic) Why dont we just stop buying barbie dolls because arent we the live-sized version of a plastic superficial bitch?

When you live in a world filled with this much sin, it affects you so much till you cant be affected anymore. You're constantly on full speed. and when you're tires are worn out, you just want to hide in your clam shell for a while. just a little while? but you cant. you cant because you study in the most superficial industry. When you're a journalism/media/mass comm/fashion student, you can kiss your simple days goodbye.. and enter the dark world where your life revolves around the 7 deadly sins.

i can begin to explain to you in detail how i am largely affected by each sin, but it just might be too dark for some to handle. besides, i wouldnt want to strip the daylight from some of you innocent people who live bright,sunny, and dandy lives.

later.

2007-09-12T21:03:00.000-07:00

Here's three good reasons how i know that I am going out of my mind: (and the explanations as to why thats a huge deal)

I am colour coordinating my entire closet.
Firstly, i never colour coordinate my closets, and i pity fashion interns who have to do that. Ok, i dont even organize my closet, hardly clean it ever.

I am taking constructive notes in class.
I already took enough notes in secondary school to last me a lifetime. I really dont need more. I rely on the lecture slides and study off them online. but recently, ive been taking lots of notes...

I have been ignoring the bible.
ah, im guilty. I used to read it all the time. but now, i just feel like theres no time to read it and i feel a part of me is not complete. i feel so lost in life.

now im gonna take a break for a while and read the bible. I seriously dont know how i would cope without it mentally, emotionally, and socially. worship the bible people. please dont think im preaching, but ever since i devoted myself to it, life has been good [:

THE BIBLE

I

its britney, bitch.

2007-09-09T15:22:00.000-07:00

ITS BRITNEY, BITCH

So, in a couple hours time, the world will finally see if Britney Spears makes a good comeback. According to rumors/rumours, Ms Spears is going to be the opening act of the MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas, Nevada. With Criss Angel, her performance partner and supposedly current romance partner (wtf britney?), she will be doing the most awaited comeback in the entire history of ..Britney Spears.

ok, im a true Britney fan, and i really dont give a shit if you like it or not. I have a giant freaking poster of her on my wall, but i dont idolize her, i admit, sometimes i even forget that she's on my wall but thats ok. I support britney and thats all that matters. I dont care about who she dates, how she abuses her kids and her currently bald head. really dont give a shit. all i care about is the music she makes. i know...im sucha weird fan.

anyway, my point is, i admit i love britney [: (and you guys do too, you're just in denial.......)

[vanessa hudgens had a naked picture scandal, say bye to HSM3! ]

*UPDATE* Apparently, zac efron was the one who took it.

*UPDATEUPDATE* Parents are banning their kids to watch/buy HSM stuff cause of the scandal. damn vanessa, you're sucha whore but i still love your songs [:

*MAJOR UPDATE*

So terrible, its almost as if she did it on purpose. Sloppy and unrehearsed. WHY BRITNEY!?

2007-09-06T23:00:00.000-07:00

IM GOING TO PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR AND NOT WORRY ABOUT COMMITMENT ISSUES.

since when do rockstars commit anyway?

2007-08-29T20:09:00.000-07:00

i didnt realise this was on video. but after several loud bangings on the doors of hassayampa dorms on Friday afternoon, yeah it was pretty cool actually [:

2007-08-22T00:15:00.000-07:00

damn what the hell did i get myself into?!

2007-08-14T22:06:00.000-07:00

Reality is gonna hit me hard on the 20th.
is this really happening? ugh

[click awayyy]

2007-08-01T21:18:00.001-07:00

[clickclick]

2007-07-25T13:35:00.000-07:00

i really hate the stress im getting from doing all the admin shit for uni
and book reservations
and class schedules,
class confirmation,
parking permits,
season tickets,
bus schedule,
orientation,
sun card,
advising,
honors,

thats JUST school. then welcome

MAJOR CAR WASH. i need this so badly inside and out. i dont know whats living under those car seats.
MINOR ROOM CLEANING. organise!! fuck i cant even find my files and shit from last semester
MAJOR HOUSE CLEANING. we always have guests over at all the wrong times. plus, i dont even like them ):
MAJOR HANGING OUT with buddies i wont see again after we all disperse into various universities nationwide ):
MINOR haircut. i want something punkrock and totally do that flippy thing (quote: emo kid song) NOT!
MAJOR booze&lights night. yeah one last one before we welcome the semester from hell!

major..minor. omg im so thinking school!
nooo ive been bitten by the stress-about-school bug!
i need to survive the next four months.

*imagines late night messy hair, glasses, sitting infront of the laptop, frantically typing up a paper thats due the next day. on the phone the same time discussing about what the lecturer was talking about TWO months ago, and also filling in a little gossip and drama here and there about certain people. then stopping for coffee. and more coffee. maybe a redbull or two. sitting back infront of the screen and wishing you spent the last two weekends doing this paper, followed by a one minute breakdown over stupidity and procrastination, followed by flipping textbooks and notes. looking at the time, then wondering who else is up besides you, and then proceed to call people and see how they are coping only to find out that the majority of the class population are passed out already due to the beer pong that you didnt attend (thank god!) and then dragging your ass to school the next day to find half the people not showing up. handing in your paper in your pajamas and trucker cap, then heading back home to crash badly*

ah, memories.

(oh yeah, go checkout drunkenthoughts on my links and give me ideas)

2007-07-23T15:43:00.000-07:00

There's something so calming about the rain. It's really peaceful and im enjoying every bit of it because it hasn't rained in phoenix since January 2007. Its shocking that its raining in this 45 degree C/ 115 degree F weather. It looks gorgeous from inside.

Something about the air outside smelt so familiar. It was like a million memories flying all over the place and my brain is trying to figure out what it is. Rain, muddy grass, running, pool, drenched, leather jacket, pine cone trees, chips and salsa, laughter, friends, highschool..

Then everything finally came into focus. PALMVALLEY. the exact same musky smell everytime it rains. whoa.

rainy days are ♥

2007-07-14T22:38:00.000-07:00

Angela is forcing me to go to a frat party AGAIN! bitchszx. Frat parties are so lame seriously, it gets old. maybe if i was feeling like a whore i would go crash but honestly, it makes me sick.

BUT

i love toga parties! HELLO! what happened to toga parties?! we should throw more toga parties and have more beer pongs and you know chill and dance till we all pass out like wasted greek people in random places. cmon it'll be fun! i demand more toga parties!!

for now, im contented with crashing at applebees on friday nights. anything for that chocolate brownie melt yummmmm

ok bye im off to the city of sins [:

2007-07-09T22:13:00.000-07:00

Cappie is gorgeous in the most dorkiest way. this is one frat boy i like!

watch greek! sucha typical american STEREOTYPED college life. haha!

2007-07-07T18:10:00.000-07:00

omg i think i found someone ive not seen for 13 years. whoa.
we were best friends when i was 5, and he was 7
i remember how my dad used to drive me over when he wanted to hang with his dad.
we'd go into his room and he'd show me all his arcade tickets that he had. in this HUGE bag.
then i showed off my circus-circus tickets and we'd talk about how awesome vegas is.
he was my vegas buddy cause our families always went together.
our moms dressed us up RETRO omgzzz
i was so retro when i was 5 i swear. colorful dresses with beads and stockings and cute shoes that matched my funky hair accessories. HAHA ohgod

omg ive always wondered where he was.
i think i last saw him on my..7th birthday when i was hiding in the bathroom for some weird reason..
ohyeah, my cousins always make me cry. they're mean. HAHA KIDDING! ~~not~~
but yeah this boy just suddenly popped up in my mind when my dad mentioned about his old friend.
hes probably 20 right now, with gorgeous hair and eyes and a sexy ass tattoo.
haha!

im sucha dreamer. but really, it'd be nice to see someone familiar after 13 years.

2007-06-21T19:44:00.000-07:00

throw it away
forget yesterday
we'll make the great escape

clean room!!

2007-06-20T19:25:00.000-07:00

i breathe clean

Here's the outcome. I feel totally clean man.

Now thats out of the way with.. i got my ASU map in the mail.

Take a look at the huge ass campus map which screams LOST!!

Like whoa, seriously. the school is a city by itself i swear. those tiny words are all the buildings....

campus orientation is gonna be so fun [:

2007-06-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

summer room cleanup

Since janelle and her fiance are off for a little vacation up in scottsdale, she kindly let me OWN her digicam..but only for the weekend. i know i spent all these money on makeup, clothes, booze and gas, i could have saved up to get my own right? i just want my old one back! ): i miss it sooo much is that hard to ask. also, its the only digicam that doesnt make me look...unglam.

but im seeing my true love this december after we've been parted for...more than a year. actually, im seeing a couple true loves this december. i should name my digicam..one we're reunited...we had so much history together i swear. hahaaa im starting to sound lame. but anyway, since jan's digicam is mine for the weekend, id LOVE to show you the state of my room..like how it usually is.. so this is NOT for the weak hearted...or the faint...old people...or pregnant women..whatever is on the rollercoaster frontboard (:

me! camwhoring before doing major cleanup! [:

my bed is somewhere under all that junk i swear. omg. wow i just realised how embarassing this is. but, i really can live in this mess. yeah....

This is my junk shelf...wait, isnt my whole room a junk shelf? yes yes it is...

interesting dresser...it takes me an average of 10 mins to find my eyeliner. somewhere in there. everyday's a new adventure[:

study table?! hahah yes i do extremely constructive studying here. REALLY BELIEVE ME!

yeah here's the sideview.

here's whats inside one of my wardrobes. i cant show you the other one cause you may just stop breathing.

sideview of my bed. see that little space on the top left? yeah thats where i sleep. by the morning half the stuff on the bed will be on the floor.

FINALLY i got that off my chest. i know im a very messy lady BUT i have my reasons. now im going to do a nice cleanup to make my room at least look breathable. oh, and also that my dad is coming back from alaska today. i dont want him to take a huge black garbage bag and dump everything out...like what he said he'd do.

we also had a deal about me being responsible and how people will react when they see the state of my room. now, im going to do myself and him a favor and be a clean organized girl. which i hope will last me at least a week [; ok, im seriously trying to change my sloppy lifestyle here, a little encouragement HELLO!

will post up pictures of breathable room later!

2007-06-12T14:32:00.001-07:00

some loser is plunging to his social death.
really sooon

2007-06-08T21:21:00.000-07:00

i HATE BEING IMPULSIVE!! AND OMG WE JUST RENTED TURISTAS WE'RE GONNA WATCH IT BUT THE GUYS ARE PLAYING COUNTERSTRIKE. GAY! SO IT JUST US GIRLS. AND STUPID JAN SAID THE HOUSE IS HAUNTED. NOW I CANT GO PEE OR TO THE KITCHEN OR THE POOL...AND IM TYPING IN CAPS CAUSEEE IM SCARED TO DEATH. BUT, WE ARE GOING TO PLAY A SICK JOKE ON THE GUYS. A REALLLY REEEAAAALLLLLY SICK JOKE. SO SICK THAT IM SCARING MYSELF..I THINK I NEED A BUDLIGHT

lalalalala

2007-06-03T16:12:00.000-07:00

My dad is off to Alaska! for two weeks. which means my two weeks of vacation has just begun. BLISS!
i just heard one of the greatest news in the entire world! and ive been in a happy mood since then. the secret wont be out not for another couple of months (:

i slept over at tricias place on friday night- and theres always drama there. ALWAYS. oh, and i like the fact that hot boys have access to her house in the middle of the night and we all end up on the couch with budlight and she comes out and screams at us. i love it! right.. ive been on "boy arrest" for the longest time ever but i keep breaking the rules. hehe.

"Boy arrest" - stay away from men above 21.

i also babysat this cutest most lovelyest most adorable baby girl ever!!! omg shes sucha cutie shes only 9 months old. i love her to bits even though she puked on me..and i had to clean her dookie up and pay attention to her 24/7. shes teething and so so soooooooooo adorable. she was the baby that never cried. she had the greenest eyes with the roundest face with dark hair and i actually didnt feel like laughing (like nat would say) i just wanted to kidnap her and runaway! she distracted me from all the boys at the house. seee! thats how cute she is!!

ah, life has been good so far. i know what a shocker. but really it has. i just want plans to flow smoothly for the rest of the year and everything will be great!

love,
kav

beer

2007-05-25T21:05:00.000-07:00

chuuuuug

fuck! I have a beer belly!! OMG.
i can so tell cause its not flabby at all..its bloated and firm-so not pmsing
god im such a man
i need to stop drinking every night
I PROMISE I WILL ONCE THIS WEEKEND IS OVER
you should see my beer belly
its making me look pregnant- which im not btw im 100% sure
what is beer doing to me?!
i know its crazy cause i used to HATE beer
but having a dad who works in the airforce?
thats like beer party every night.
and now budlight with lime is good.
especially with lays chips.
SO GOOD SOOO GOOOD.
come live with me, i'll turn you into a beer freak.
and its been ages since i had one of those girly strawberry martini thingamajigies.

nat remember?

" and yes i like to stone
and get wasted everynight
i drink tiger beer
and i smoke weed
but im still....
PRETTY HOT!"

"AND I HAVE TONS OF GIRLFRIENDS THAT WANNA SLEEP WITH ME
YEAH IM HOT
I KNOW IM HOTTTTTTT"

[ITS CALLED LIVING FOR THE NIGHTS WE DONT REMEMBER, WITH THE PEOPLE WE'LL NEVER FORGET]

2007-05-23T22:43:00.000-07:00

JORDIN SPARKS!

yes she won, this amazingly talented young lady- or should i say teen. shes only seventeen!

from Arizona Idol to American Idol!

wonderful show tonight and is blake getting less hot or what? he looks so much better with jet black hair and dark clothes.

so the valley is going crazy. i went downstairs to the clubhouse pool and we barbequed and waited for the results. when jordin won, it was seriously like some new years eve coundown thing. holy shit!

go arizona!

and will someone please tell me how to fucking survive a hangover when u've got class at 730am the next day?!?!

my summer class starts next week and you have no idea how pissed i am!! what kinda holiday is this!?

what a small world

2007-05-20T00:20:00.000-07:00

what a small world.....

Dont you think its quite freaky that everyone knows everyone in singapore? no really, is it just me or what? every new person i meet who has been to/ lived in singapore knows someone i know. and not just yeah ive seen him around. more like, omg we are such good friends. and its sooo strange. its like the next person you meet is probably the best friend of your mom/dad/sister/aunt/grandparent/brother/uncle/sisterinlaw/brotherinlaw/niece/ nephew/friend/maid/the postman/your teacher/the security guard/ SOMEBODY you know. talk about creepy.

also, i noticed that, if you do something, the whole world (aka singapore) ends up knowing..for example omg did you hear that he/she dyed her hair pink/got a tattoo/got a piercing/smoked a cigarette/bought prata at the coffeeshop/winked at someone/ranaway/got kicked out/was so rude/failed the exam/did well for the exam/came home late/went out late/got drunk/went clubbing...etc.

chances are, my grandma and your grandma are best friends and they tell the world about how we go out too much and party our assess off..drink too much alcohol and come home having the worst hangovers possible.

people you dont even know, know your life story

dream school?

2007-05-17T16:52:00.000-07:00

DREAM SCHOOL AND DORM PORN

so whats your dream university? let me guess, one of those ivy league schools yeah? Harvard, Yale, UCB, Princeton, Stanford, Boston Uni. schools like that you would DIE to get into right? why? because they are so presitigious and conservative? so powerful and screams intellectual? so ancient and popular? smart asses with 4.0gpa who'll get excellent jobs with their degree? hah. not after this, you wont.

this should be an eye opener for alot of you guys out there. DONT judge a book by its cover, seriously. after i watched the tyra banks show today, i was like "AND I THOUGHT ASU WAS BAD!" ohmygod!

dorm porn. yeah you have it in every uni i get it. but, it all started in harvard! they had their own pimps and stuff for "out of campus frat boy-and sorority girl sex!" college students around the united states videotaping dorm porn. yeah..thats bad already, then a university introduces college students sex/porn magazine- starring- college students in that university!

which uni i wonder...asu? ucla? ucb? nyu? nah......

HARVARD UNIVERSITY!

yes you heard it right people! the student government is supporting the sex magazine of harvard! be in utter complete shock! in prestigious schools? hah, scratch that. what prestigious?! harvard students claim its "art". uhhyeahsure.
omg this is like a nightmare. like harvard students gone wild! haha..maybe they got sick of being so nerdy and sexually deprived, they had to let loose! (okay this is a serious matter but i cant help to be in shock and laugh at the same time because its harvard going playboy! HAHA)

and then the supporting universities with their own porn mags and dorm porn....
second runner up goes to .....*drumroll* YALE!
runner up goes to....*drumroll* BOSTON UNI!

what a highlight of the day!!!

so people, dont study so hard and try and make it to the uni of ur dreams..not worth it..unless u wanna be a pornstar (gasp! i see the look in some of ur faces!)

seeeya l8er g8erts

grd night 07

2007-05-12T10:39:00.000-07:00

THE CONSECUTIVE PARTYING STARTED LAST NIGHT

Graduation 2007 = Awesome!
I emceed with this other dude, did beer pong with nick, danced with martin!! ahhh it was awesome!!!
even though the wind was bad and my dress kept flying everywhere..me and the girls were going craaaazy.

then there were fireworks- BEAUTIFUL!! purple and orange - color of the school and the phoenix suns. haha
caps are gowns were gorgeous!!!! metallic purple and obviously i added glitter to them for tricia's gown.
you guys know i add glitter to anything! LOVE IT!!

so me and nick went back to tricias place with the girls to chug down beer before coming back to school and chugging down more gatorade- man we were tipsy the whole night! best graduation ive ever been to even though it wasnt mine!

so today, party at tricia's with more long island iced tea mixed by nick and he puts godknowswhat in it. more partying!! then off to dinner at ASU with brandy and partying at gary's house!!! all in one sat night!

ttyl peoples!! i'll see ya when summer class starts in 3 weeks! BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE

dance concert

2007-05-09T22:49:00.000-07:00

DANCE CONCERT

Went with dearest lauren today for a highschool dance concert. it was fabulous but highschool screams bitch all over again.
really. the aura was weird. and very bitchy. just like how highschool used to be. thank god im out of highschool! oh, not that college doesnt scream bitch..college screams..whore! if you get what i mean.

anyway..

i had rehersal today to speak on friday's grad night! oh! did i mention? i have to speak infront of thousands of people on grad night! ahh! and its not even MY grad night. omg *pictures hilary duff giving grad speech on the lizzie mcguire movie* then i have this male partner- so we're going to be in formal.

yeah finals are over! which means PAR-TAY!

friday night is going to be bitter-SWEEEEEEEEEET.

last week

2007-05-08T16:45:00.001-07:00

LAST WEEK!

yes you heard it right!

BOOYAH!

rarr

2007-05-03T22:54:00.000-07:00

Recently, boys have been CALIENTE!
only good for parties
BUT DAMN USELESS IN THE REAL WORLD

finals please be over quick so i can hit the clubs and be broke!

wait..i already am broke. UGH!

the other side isnt very pretty

2007-04-28T20:45:00.000-07:00

Lately, i realise that the other side of me is showing alot. Im more bitchy, snappy, and sarcastic in all ways possible. too much that im starting to scare myself. Its not pms, its the fucking workload and fucking stress in these last two weeks thats KILLING me. i feel like sucha whiny bitch but i really cannot take it.

You know what the best part? When in the midst of all these shit from school, you have drama in and out of school, dealing with parents, dealing with alot of omg-this-is-so-not-happening-right-now shit is just overwhelming. and it always, ALWAYS has to happen when im the weakest mentally and physically and not in the proper state of mind.

so please dont procrastinate. i swore last semester that i wouldnt do that again, but here goes. another two weeks of hell. but you know what, i cant stop the habit cause im the sort of person that works wonders last minute.

on a more exciting news, MAY 11TH IS SENIOR GRAD NIGHT! -and- last day of semester! which means..i can finally let loose for a couple of weeks. then a class in the summer. grrrrrr.

you know what i really need?

MY AWESOME FRIENDS WHO I MISS TO DEATH AND A NEVER ENDING VACATION<3
and a couple of cute boys. disposable ones please.

im bored

2007-04-26T09:13:00.000-07:00

100 about your top 8
your top eight:
1. Nat
2. Mischa
3. Anne
4. Saran
5. janelle
6. Mizah
7. Nesha
8. Tricia

number 8: Tricia
1. HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN 8?
+ a little more than a year

2. HAVE YOU EVER DATED 8?
+no silly..but i would her ~~bro~~

3. HAVE U EVER HUNG OUT WITH 8?
+yeap!!

4. HAVE YOU EVER KISSED 8?
+ oh yeah!

5. NAME ONE FAVORITE MEMORY WITH 8?
+ nye!

6. DO YOU TRUST 8?
+of course

7. WOULD YOU KEEP A SECRET FOR 8?
+ definitely

8. WOULD YOU TAKE A ROAD TRIP WITH 8?
+ yeah obviously

9. DOES 8 DATE ANYONE ON UR TOP 8?
+ no hhahha

10. WHAT DO YOU LIKE BEST ABOUT 8?
+ shes super funny and a blonde bombshell

11. ARE YOU IN 8'S TOP 8?
+ like durrr

Number 7: Nesha

12. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SEX WITH 7?
+ hahaha no!

13. NAME ONE INTERESTING THING ABOUT 7:
+ shes definitely a partner in crime!! :)

14. WOULD YOU DO ANYTHING FOR 7?
+ sure

15. NAME ONE THING 7 IS GOOD AT:
+ singing me the songs she makes up..which is STILL stuck in my head btw..after so long

16. ARE YOU OLDER OR YOUNGER THAN 7:
+ older! by a couple of weeks

17. HAVE YOU EVER HUGGED 7?
+duh

18. DO YOU KNOW 7's MIDDLE NAME?
+ uhh she doesnt have one i think

19. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MEMORY WITH 7?
+ bitching no doubt

20. WHAT DO YOU LIKE BEST ABOUT 7?
+ shes so cute! like a rat! hehehehehehehehehhehe

NUMBER 6: Mizah

21. WHERE DOES 6 LIVE?
+ Singapore!

22. EVER DONE ANYTHING ILLEGAL WITH 6?
+ probably have..lol

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY REGRETS WITH 6?
+ noo why would i?

24. ARE YOU RELATED TO 6?
+ nopee

25. HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN 6?
+ since sec 3!

26. Are you in there top 8?
+uhh i dont knoww

27. EVER LAUGHED WITH 6?
+ duhhh

29. WOULD YOU BE THERE FOR 6?
+ yepyep

30. WHAT DO YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT 6?
+ shes reallly coool

Number 5: Janelle
31. HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW 5?
+ like the bigger sister i never had

32. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW 5?
+ like last week..but im SO mad at her for moving!

33. HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN 5?
+ bout a year and a half?

34. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE WITH 5?
+ go to pubs...cause her bf works there and we dont pay cover charge :P

35. HOW DID YOU MEET 5?
+ at school! in our lit class!

36. EVER TELL 5 A SECRET?
+ oh yeah all the time..

37. HAVE YOU EVER DATED 5?
+ yeah but she broke up with me- for her bf! arghghghh!!

38. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MEMORY WITH 5?
+ hanging out and going crazy

39. WOULD YOU DO ANYTHING FOR 5?
+ definitely

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE BEST ABOUT 5?
+shes really down to earth and crazy at the same time

NUMBER 4: Saran
41. WHERE DID YOU MEET 4?
+ at th airport when i was 3 months old

42. IS 4 YOUR FRIEND?
+ shes my cousin

43. ARE YOU RELATED TO 4?
+ duh!!!

44. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL WITH 4?
+ nope

45. IS 4 A FUN PERSON TO BE WITH?
+ shes super random!

46. ARE YOU ON 4'S TOP 8?
+ uhuh i dont knoww

47. HAVE YOU DATED 4?
+ nooo that would be incest..

48. WOULD YOU GO ON A TRIP WITH 4?
+ in a couple of months right?

49. HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEE 4?
+ never saw her since last year cause her butt is rotting in sydney

50. WHAT DO YOU LIKE BEST ABOUT 4?
+ shes awesome

NUMBER 3: Anne
51. HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN 3?
+ since forever right but we didnt hang out till years later

52. WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE 3?
+ last year! :(

53. EVER DATED 3?
+ nope

54. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON WITH 3?
+ tonnnns

55. IS 3 FUNNY?
+ she is super funny in the cutest way

56. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL WITH 3?
+ nope

58. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU DID WITH 3?
+ man..we hung out at my farewell party

59. WHAT IS SOMETHING 3 IS GOOD AT?
+ being lovely!

60. What do you like best about 3?
+ i love her! mucho!

NUMBER 2: Mischa
61. HOW DID YOU MEET 2?
+ we were in the same class

62. IS 2 YOUR FRIEND?
+ what a dumb question. DUHHHHH

63. WOULD YOU DO ANYTHING FOR 2?
+ yep

64. WHERE DOES NUMBER 2 LIVE?
+ Singapore

65. DO YOU LOVE 2?
+ love her!

66. HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN IN TROUBLE WITH 2?
+ no. no? no right? i dont think so!

67. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING TO DO WITH 2?
+ hangout and go shopping!

68. WHAT IS 2 MIDDLE NAME?
+ arielle

69. NAME ONE MEMORY YOU HAVE WITH 2?
+ definitely the orchard trips

70. WHAT DO U LIKE BEST ABOUT 2?
+ shes sucha darl!

NUMBER 1: Nat

71. HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN 1?
+since sec 3

72. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED CLASS WITH 1?
+ dude thats like our favorite pastime.

73. HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO DATE 1?
+ we've dated..broken up..gone on timeout..we've cheated..done the whole friends with benefits. oh yeah.

74. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL MEMORIES WITH 1?
+ countless. but ive got to say sp!

75. ARE YOU NUMBER 1 ON 1'S TOP 8?
+ yes im her wife

76. HAVE YOU EVER FOUGHT WITH 1?
+ duh! like about which lipgloss flavor is better..strawberry or vanilla

77. WHY IS 1 THE TOP PERSON ON YOUR TOP 8?
+ cause i screwed her and i feel bad if shes not on my top 8

78. WOULD YOU DO ANYTHING FOR 1?
+ ohyeah

79. DO YOU LOVE 1?
+ very very very much.

80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE BEST ABOUT 1?
+ shes has the hottest ass ever. man im so superficial

All:
81. WHICH ONE DID YOU SEE LAST:
+Tricia

82. WHICH ONE WILL YOU SEE NEXT?
+ prbably all of you - so better get ur asses down here!

83. WHICH ONE DID YOU LAST TALK TO ON THE PHONE?
+ Janelle

84. WHICH ONE DID YOU LAST COMMENT?
+ uhh dont rmbr

85. WHICH ONE DID YOU LAST IM?
+ Janelle

86. WHICH ONE DID YOU LAST E-MAIL?
+saran

87. WHICH ONE'S ARE THE EASIEST TO TALK TO?
+all of them

88. WHICH ONE DO YOU TRUST THE MOST?
+ALL

89. WHICH ONE KNOWS YOU BEST?
+ most of them

91. WHICH ONE DO YOU HAVE THE MOST IN COMMON WITH?

+Its a bit of it here & there

92. WHICH ONE DO YOU MISS THE MOST RIGHT NOW?
+ all you bitches in another country!

93. WHICH ONE HAVE YOU SPENT THE MOST TIME WITH?
+ nat

94. WHICH ONE DID YOU LAST DO SOMETHING SEXUAL WITH?
+has to be nat..(anne said the same thing!) NAT ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME YOU SLUT

95. WHICH ONE LISTENS THE BEST?
+they're all gd listeners

96. WHICH ONE HAS BEEN THERE FOR YOU THE MOST?
+ a couple

97. WHICH ONE IS THE FUNNIEST?
+ nat..she laughs alot esp when shes high..on coke

98. WHICH ONE LAUGHS THE MOST?
+ see above

99. WHICH ONE IS THE SEXIEST?
+all you guys are sexayyy

100.WHICH ONE WILL REPOST THIS?
+ whoevers bored out of their minds

lalalalala

2007-04-24T22:57:00.000-07:00

Is anyone as tired and drained as i am? guess not. i just finished my powerpoint for the student conference tmr. i am tired and finals is killing me. i feel like sucha loser cause i didnt go donate blood today. :( i was scared man. and i didnt want to pass out or be weak for the conference tmr. i know excuses excuses.. plus i had alcohol in my system.. you know what i realised?! why the fuck do i always have alcohol in my system a day before blood donation day..or like blood test days. those who know me well knows this always happens to me. and its not by purpose i swear!

anyway..i realise i dont blog about how i REALLY feel anymore. i dont know why. maybe cause this is a blog and its public. but i was just looking back at a couple of my old posts and realized that i used to put down almost everything that i was feeling/going through. hmmm. interesting..

maybe because life is getting too SCANDALOUS and its too risky putting it down here.

TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE! <3

rock out!

2007-04-21T22:54:00.000-07:00

If you constantly have to keep reminding yourself why you hate this person, then it means that you dont really have a good reason for hating the person right? ...which kinda means that you are not supposed to hate the person cause you dont have a specific reason. but for some reason you just hate the goddamn person with a burning passion of a thousand suns.

-well technically you lose track of the countless amount of stupid shit the person has put u through. you dont want to kill yourself so u give up on the counting. eventually..you kinda go crazy and totally forget why u are mad at the person because keeping track of too many things just blows up your mind.

weird theory, but true. you probably didnt get that. nevermind.

anyway dont worry people, im not dead. school resumed on wednesday and of course half the campus didnt show up . I DID! IM SO BRAVE! I WOULD HAVE STOOD IN FRONT OF ~~the nearest exit~~A BULLET AND ~~ran away~~ PROTECTED EVERYONE!

Prayers goes out to Virginia tech from ASU. We had a vigil outside hayden hall. It was so so so sad :(

yeah so yesterday was pretty interesting. with the rockconcert at tempe. it was right by my school! we rocked out late!!! and i got home at 2am..fucking couldnt see on the freeway so thankgod nicole drove. then we caught the band on the freeway too and kept honking at each other. we wanted to play overtaking but i was too tired and nicole is sucha wuss!!

k: just overtake them seriously i'll watch out for cars
n: omgomgomgomgomgomgomg im too scared!
k: arghgh cmon duuude
n: do you wanna fucking die on the freeway?!!

(pause)

k: uhhh..no. not really.
n: exactly! so shut up!

(5 seconds later)

nicole overtakes them...

and then we just kept over taking each other till we got off the freeway HAHA

BREAKING NEWS!!

2007-04-17T20:38:00.000-07:00

CAMPUS MASSACRE

Community college evacuated
12 News
Apr. 17, 2007 04:45 PM

Classes were canceled on Tuesday morning at Estrella Mountain Community College in Avondale after a threatening note was received on campus.

Someone received the note through inter-office mail that apparently threatened that a shooting would take place today on campus. The campus was evacuated after the threat was received.

Law enforcement searched the campus twice and found nothing suspicious. Detectives are now looking into the threat.

Estrella Mountain Community College is located near Dysart Road and Thomas Road. Stay with 12news.azcentral.com for further information

_________________________________

In Arizona, classes were canceled at Estrella Mountain Community College in Avondale, a suburb of Phoenix, after a note threatening a shooting was delivered via intercampus mail.

Avondale police conferred with campus officers and staff and decided the threat was "serious and immediate" and ordered the evacuation, said Amy Boulton, a police spokeswoman. Officers searched the campus looking for evidence or any threat but nothing was found, Boulton said.

_________________________________

Shooting threat closes Estrella Mountain Community College
02:10 PM Mountain Standard Time on Tuesday, April 17, 2007
By 3TV and azfamily.com staff
Estrella Mountain Community College was evacuated and closed Tuesday following the threat of a shooting.

The college at Dysart and Thomas roads was evacuated around noon as a precaution.

The interim president of the college said the incident began around 11:30 a.m. when the head of security reportedly received a three-page note indicating that a shooting would occur on campus today.

Students and staff were immediately evacuated and a nearby preschool and church were placed on lockdown.

The campus was alerted to the alleged threat through television and e-mail.

The school will remain closed for the rest of today and police are assessing the situation to determine when the campus will re-open.

____________________________________

Avondale community college campus cleared out after threat

AVONDALE, Ariz. Classes were canceled today at Estrella Mountain Community College in Avondale after a note threatening a shooting was delivered by intercampus mail.

Spokesman Ralph Campbell says the campus was evacuated at midday after the note was received by campus police. Between 15- and 25-hundred students can be on campus on a normal school day.
Avondale police spokeswoman Amy Boulton says campus officers and staff conferred with Avondale officers and decided the threat was "serious and immediate."
Officers searching the campus looking for evidence or any threat had found nothing by mid-afternoon. She said the response was related to yesterday's shooting at Virginia Tech that left 33 people dead.

ATTENTION!

2007-04-17T13:39:00.000-07:00

Campus is being evacuated for the rest of the day.
anyone reading this, dont go!!!

There has been a threat in relation to the Virginia Tech shooting yesterday. Someone has a gun right now.
Rumors are that two people are missing/shot- we dont know yet!
Do not go anywhere on dysart and avondale.
PLEASE KEEP SAFE GUYS!

AND ANYONE GOING TO THE REFUGEE CAMP BE SAFE!
i fucking cant believe that they didnt cancel this.
Threats are not an excuse so the show must go on.

so my dad has all the news on whats going on from LAFB
do call if you need it.

:(

uhh

2007-04-16T19:24:00.000-07:00

omg sudden blogging frenzy!
can you be so pissed and so happy at the same time?!
ugh i hate the last 4 weeks of school its like driving me insane!
before lab today, chris, sergio and i had a little 2fast2furious race to applebees.
what nonsence! thank god no sight of cops..
and chris reached last! HAHAH loserrrr

k anyway i overtook like a million cars. SWEEEET.
its addictive man. (haha u guys are prob like never going to get in a car with me right?)
WE SHOULD RACE AGAIN. FUN FUNNN. just tighten seatbelts and pray to god you wont die

SEE FINALS ARE MAKING ME DO CRAZY THINGS!!!? save me....
JASON MALLORY IS GOING TO TEACH AT ASU!
you know what this means?!!
ill be seeing him every fucking day!
btw..jason mallory is this fucking HOTT philosophy professor at school.
he is rated HOTTTTTT on ratemyprofessors.com

what else? uhh im dying. i gotta do this community service thingmajig tmr..
some spring fling dance thing. ugh
BUT ive got this GORGEOUS dress that im in love with
i swear i could marry it and it'll make me happy forever
yeah..

dude why is this thing so random!
OH GUYS I JUST RMBRED VITRUVIAN CONCERT THIS FRIDAY NIGHT AT TEMPE
get ur asses there
its like an hour n a half drive so carpool ok!

umm i have somemore to say but i cant think now.
will be back l8er

what?

2007-04-16T16:15:00.000-07:00

So one thing leads to another, to another, to another...

STOP.

hahahahah. seriously if this keeps going on, everybody is going to get their...(something something)

and i have people telling me things I myself dont know

hey i heard ur throwing a party right
you are?!!
i am!?!?
really?!?! oh...
now you are!
huh?

thats just an example..parties can be called off but REALITY cant!

omgomg seriously i thought it was only 2 people!
I DID I DID.

how how HOWWWWWWW.

okay ur not getting this. but i am. but i cant mention it. cause if i do, its gonna be like

one thing leading to another, to another, to another...

and it'll never stop.

italian food is love

2007-04-12T09:33:00.000-07:00

We had a little shindig down at marcus' apartment last night.
he was cooking italian food , hes a really good chef.

yeah he wore his apron and nothing else dudes!
WICKED!
LADIES HES SINGLE! *hinthint*

you can see she's a beautiful girl

2007-04-10T18:28:00.000-07:00

argh i wanted to update but im so lazzzeeeeeeeeeee
goddammit im going to sleep
school is draining me :(

How this reminds me of old secondary school days...

2007-04-08T11:07:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHHA omg how hilarious!! (click on them to make it bigger)

so pumped

2007-04-06T18:46:00.000-07:00

Friday! today was sucha eventful day (sorta)- finally got all my assignments/presentation due dates on track. man, i was ALL OVER THE PLACE last week. theres so much stuff due, im like dying here. i feel so much better now, actually KNOWING the due dates instead of coming to class being like "Is anything due today?" haha.

K so after school i drove to millennium and met up with Lauren! i havent seen her in AGES and i miss her so sooo much! hahah fuck i miss my high school. i hid behind my huge shades walking in campus and BAM! whaddya know i run into my senior friends!! ahhhhhh i havent seen them in so long and they're pissed cause we havent hung out in forever. but college is a bitch okay. so met up with the whole gang omggg it was like some 10 year reunion. everyone wouldnt stop jumping on me wtf!? the pep rally was awesome cause me and stephen( lauren's boyfriend) put on paint on our faces and cheered the football team on. GO MHS! whoooooo. hahha okay and i saw amy wong after so long- that woman shaved her head man! she pulled a britney spears lol.

i miss that school man although i only spent freshman year there. and my friends from there are finally graduating! yay so i can finally see some of them in college. SWEEEEET.

okay brandy made me do something soo sooooooo stupid in my opinion, and i dont know why i did it- i think i was high or something. hahahhh bitchszx.

ooo i bought my mom this DOVE chocolate heaven pot of gold yummy never ending supply of her fave chocs for her birthday. and i feel so tempted to eat it now! arghhh.

those who wanna go to tempe the weekend after next to support the ASU boys at their concert, just get the tickets from me. matt gave me 40, i have like 5 left. so yeah be there or be square loserrrrrs.

stay safe yall. have an awesome easter weekend.<3

Got the guy, lost the girls

2007-04-03T15:16:00.000-07:00

There was an article in Seventeen about this. Boyfriend over best friends. Im sorry but i just HAVE to voice my opinion out on this whether you like it or not. whether you got the guy and lost the girls or not. Its sucha stupid thing to do, really.

i remember those late night convos you know? the four-way calling, giggling about boys and whatnot. promising that we'll be friends for life. and that no guy would ever come between us. well, guess we were wrong. its funny how we blamed the guy at first, thinking that it was HIM who did this, it was HIM who ruined our friendship, it was HIM who changed you.

but no. it was you, darling. it was all you. not only did you back out on us, you backed out on your other friends who knew you longer, better and more than we did. you shut yourself out from the world and gave your boyfriend everything. we were not in the picture anymore. it hurt really bad at first, but then we realised how much of a shallow person you were.

and then we decided, we didnt need you. the same way you didnt need us.

anyway, thats a little story. so whats your opinion on this guys? would you ever betray your girlfriends over some guy you just met? would you ever ditch hanging out with ur girlies for a date with your boy? would you ditch the people who have been there for you in one of ur most hardest times ever? didnt think so.

boys are like seasons, they come and go.
friends are for life<3

i needa longer weekend...

2007-03-31T22:09:00.000-07:00

So im back from the airport sending tash off and other people too. i had so much cold stone ice cream and fries, which is a sucky combination btw. ewww. i still have a mytholgy exam to finish..and sociology to start on..making this one of the crappiest weekends ever.

btw nat, that birdie officially lives on the roof..i woke up this morning and saw it, came back home in the afternoon and it was still there, and it still is now..i had to close the window blinds cause i couldnt stop laughing and my neighbors think im crazy. oh yeah, and it layed eggs..how cool! that bird is so amusing i swear! then again, i get amused easily...

okay heres a survey from mizha's blog! i miss you girl!

7 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME
- weird
- easily amused..read above ^
- so random
- i have a messy room
- and i dont wanna clean it up
- i watch the tyrashow!
- i need to finish my essays

7 THINGS I'M AFRAID OF
- failure
- the dark..haha
- losing loved ones
- being broke
- bugs and crickets
- getting old
- getting in a car crash

7 RANDOM SONGS
- sexyback! - jt
- lips of an angel - hinder
- showstopper- dk
- arms race- falloutboy
- sayitright- nelly.f
- whatgoesaround..jt
- ummmmm

7 THINGS I LOVE
- my friends
- my family
- my messy room
- my ipod
- celeb gossips
- school (sometimes)
- my future car

7 THINGS I SAY MOST
- are u serious?
- HAHAH
- ummmmm
- oh okay
- alrighty!
- whatever
- you suck!

7 PEOPLE TO DO THIS
- nat
- mischa
- saran
- nesha
- jan
- lo, where are you?
- YOU, who is reading this! (:

Dolce and Gabbana goes...bananas!

2007-03-30T20:13:00.000-07:00

Not only dolce and gabbana, but also many other famous designers have decided to bring EQUALITY into the fashion scene. i mean, how unfair is it to only have straight models..riiiiight. anyway, its a HUGE issue in the United States on dolce and gabbana promoting this..its almost as if its normal. im not saying its wrong to be gay, im just shocked that the united states would have sucha negative reaction considering us to be rational and open minded or whatever. yeah so of course, they banned it! just give it a couple more years, chanel and dior will be promoting this too.

yeah k enough on gays and their thoughts about the world coming out to get them. for goodness sake, PRADA loves gays! you guys should be happy taking over the fashion industry.

so i just got watching the robinsons with karen and barb. sucha cute movie! now im back here going to sleep soon cause it gonna be a longgg weekend..too much work :(

take care lovelys! oh i'll put up the other banned D&G poster when i find it...its like a girl being dominated bu this half naked guy...and like 3 other guys waiting for their "turn"...its so a gangbang.

cya l8er gaters<3

i dont do "next times" but i will this time

2007-03-24T19:08:00.000-07:00

I have been getting sick of alot of things recently. Its getting me so cranky and i just want to burst..i find myself crying with no tears. Things/people are so frustrating. and i completely hate it when they make a point. i hate it when i know they're somewhat right. I HATE IT!

I realise im not a "next time" person. I just cant do next times! When i want something, and im almost broke, i will still get it because i dont believe in a next time. I will go places when i want to, because there is no next time. and even if there is, its so stupid!! Just like that one story, when you buy a top/perfume/whatever USE IT. dont wait for special occasions cause it wont come and you'll probably be dead. I think im so used to living my life as though im about to die the next day.

I hate next times..and i dont know why im tearing right now..its amazing that i actually have tears left.

i shall not go into detail because whats the point of arguing? its not like anythings gonna change. i will listen to you and you will be guilty forever. end of story.

-on a happier note, which is so gay cause im not even close to happy,

me and tash went out today. um yeah shes leaving back to sg this saturday and shes bummed as ever. poor girl..anyway tmr is the airshow and we're going to watch hot pilots fly hot planes.

ok and if u guys need the schedule, its here

http://www.luke.af.mil/ashowofforce2007/airshowschedule/index.asp

and my dad has the car passes so call me if you need it. ciao.

another day, another accident

2007-03-20T17:55:00.000-07:00

Im so frustrated, really.
can people like stop putting themselves into fatal situations?!
fuck you all man.
im sick of people drunk driving.

Stupid accident on campus today. This is the first time i actually saw the paramedics pulling out a bloody body out of an overturned car with a smashed hood. RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FUCKING EYES! GROSS! i could actually smell the blood..i think the person was dead. :(

The traffic was terrible..the fact that i had to drive past the nastiest scene ever was soooo fucked up i swear. i really didnt want to see what else was in the car..and the road was so narrow, i wanted to close my eyes so badly..and just get the hell out of this place! ugh.

i feel sick and im going to sleep..

Take a step back

2007-03-13T16:58:00.000-07:00

Take one step back and look at how far you've come. If id met the person i was a year ago, id HATE myself. Id hate myself for being so judgemental, so naive, so conceited, so shallow...for being someone who doesnt know their priorities. I cant believe i was THAT person. i cant even remember HOW i became the way i was. I was a destroyer..i destroyed most things that came my way, i NEVER gave second chances, i broke down constantly like it was a daily routine.. i was slowly destroying myself.

Im glad i picked up. It was life-changing. I feel like a new person, really. It doesnt mean that i have cleansed away all my bad habits...i still have the minor ones of course..such as partying at all the wrong times..getting drunk..procrastinating like crazy..cussing..bitching..not showering..HAHAHA you get my drift. just the minor ones that wont hurt anyone or myself. whats funny is that i never really realised the way i was till i took a step back.

I loved the people who meant the world to me. that was one thing that never changed. In the midst of all the other shit, the only thing i felt pure about was my loyalty to my friends/family. everything else really didnt mean a thing to me except for them. and im glad it was that way because i couldnt bear losing the people i love.

I cant believe that this much has changed over a year. I am so much more responsible! I actually get respect from my parents..i have priorities..goals..ambitions to travel and things to do...a world to see...people to meet. sounds cheezy but yeah. I dont want to just party and waste my life away - thats prob what i wanted last year.

Omg i sound like some problematic child just getting out of rehab or something! i wasnt on drugs or crime or abuse. hahaha its nothing like that i swear. just growing up a bit i guess. realising. listening. learning. experiencing. all that stuff life pretty much throws at you.

You know, things have been different. A year ago, i dont know how i would have SURVIVED public speaking. Now, its a daily routine. A year ago, id never imagine talking to the people i do now. Now, we talk sincerely and i dont feel like punching them. A year ago, i had to force my smiles when i was bleeding inside. Now, i can actually smile genuinely.

Hope you find your inner happiness, be genuine, learn to love yourself and appreciate what you have,
BECAUSE ITS A BITCHY COLD WORLD OUT THERE

Superficiality is Overrated

2007-03-07T12:37:00.000-08:00

On behalf of all the gorgeous ladies -inside and out, I am here to educate the world that just because you are materialistic doesnt mean that you are superficial. right? RIGHT. NOW GET THAT IN YOUR HEAD. There IS a difference between walking around with designer whatnots labelled all over you AND being a shallow superficial narrow minded everything memememe person.

MATERIALISTIC = GOOD
SUPERFICIAL = BAD

You know whats funny. I've realised how materialistic college has made me. You have to admit, you see this ugly pair of shoes at this store and you look closer, it has "CHANEL" imprinted on it..suddenly it becomes so pretty. what nonsence right! but i wasnt like that before. If something was ugly, it stayed ugly...till Janelle introduced me to this weird- um theory?

Jan: okay this is how it works. You see a shoe/bag/clothing item thats hideous on the exterior. You arent shallow as you were before, so u decided to give it a chance..you take a closer look, and you get to know it and fall in love with the "inner" beauty. (what rubbish) You see it's soul...you feel its passion..

hahah yeah sure. you decide to take a look at its "inner" beauty once you see the big fat GUCCI on it. LOL.

and why the hell do we buy such expensive things we only use ONCE?! ugh..

tml is SUGAR RUSH party at com230 come come come!

next week, SPRING BREAK! SHAKE IT YALLL.

my dad is seriously living the life! hahahah hes gone back to his mid twenties, hes spending spring break in Miami, Florida - like THE place to go crazy and he called me last night to say he was at HOOTERS! HOLYFUCKINGSHIT. when did my dad become rad?! and since hes a "bachelor" right now, it means freedom for me till reality strikes him! (hopefully not too soon)

bye hotties!

2007-03-04T19:56:00.000-08:00

Sunday nights are usually quiet here, I say.
Everyones hungover from partying the night before.
but if you listen closely
you'll hear it..
Hear the rushing of notes and papers and files and typing.
Its a mad rush-and-do-your mondays-homework on time.
Calls are crazy on and off minutes.
This assignment..that project..next duedates..upcoming tests.
Im trying to keep my eyes open while typing this
Ive been staring at the screen for almost 6 hours now
doing this never ending mythology essay.
Im so so very tired indeed.
The last 6 hours have been long and painful.
l neeeed sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

You know you're from Arizona if...

2007-03-04T09:41:00.000-08:00

1. You are willing to park three blocks away because you found shade.
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
6. "Dress code" is meaningless at high schools and universities (picture lingerie ads).
7. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
9. The four seasons are: TOLERABLE, HOT, REALLY HOT, AND ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
10. You know that the heat you feel when you walk outside is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
11. You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is brilliant.
12. Salsa is a part of your daily diet.
13. You can listen to a weather report of 117 and not flinch.
14. You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
15. You can pronounce San Xavier, Saguaro, Tempe, and Cholla
16. You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
17. You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
18. You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour...and it will be over 100 degrees.
19. You can make sun tea instantly
20. You run your a/c in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
21. The best parking is determined by shade.....not distance.
22. You realize that "Valley Fever" isn't a disco dance
23. You actually burn your hand opening the car door
24. Sunscreen is sold year round, kept right at the checkout counter.
25. You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box
26. Some fools will market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them. Worse... some fools actually try to jog.
27. You know hot air balloons can't rise because the air temperature is hotter than the air inside the balloon.
28. No one would dream of putting vinyl inside a car
29. You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River, and, on that note, you have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.
30. You can fry an egg on the hood of a car IN THE MORNING!
31. You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
32. Most of the restaurants in town have start with "El" or "Los."
33. Your house is made of stucco and has a tile roof OR it is made of Tin and you broil all year long.
34. You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.
37. People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts.
38. You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts.
39. You can't find anyone at a park until 7:00 PM
40. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Arizona.

HAHAH SHIT THATS SO TRUE. <3

SHES LIKE SO WHATEVER LOL

2007-02-26T19:15:00.000-08:00

Since the O.C is over forever, i thought why not shout out a little tribute to the geek who makes my heart melt. or more like the ONLY reason why i ever watch that show.

Hes not a geek. HES A HOTTIE.
I HEART SETH COHEN<3

Hey Hey You You
-I DONT LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND
No way No way
I think you need a new one
Hey Hey You You
I could be your girlfriend

Hey Hey You You
I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE ME
No way No way
No, it's not a secret
Hey Hey You You
I want to be your girlfriend

You're so fine
I want you mine
You're so DELICIOUS
I think about you all the time
You're so addictive
Don't you know
What I can do
To make you feel alright

Don't pretend
I think you know
I'm damn precious
And hell yeah
I'm the mother fucking princess
I can tell you like me too
And you know I'm right

SHES LIKE SO WHATEVVVER!
You can do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that's what everyone's talking about

Hey Hey You You
I don't like your girlfriend
No way No way
I think you need a new one
Hey Hey You You
I could be your girlfriend

Hey Hey You You
I know that you like me
No way No way
No, it's not a secret
Hey Hey You You
I want to be your girlfriend

I can see the way
I see the way
You look at me
And even when you look away
I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time
again and again

So come over here
And tell me what I wanna hear
Better, yet, make your girlfriend disappear
I don't wanna hear you say her name
Ever again

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger
CAUSE I CAN, CAUSE I CAN DO IT BETTER
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in
She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?

hahah janelle shut up i will sing this song all i want<3
BITCHSZXXX IM HARDCXRE

Call me when we're on the same page

2007-02-19T20:40:00.000-08:00

Its difficult to understand why you dont get along with people who you used to. Its hard to realise that the person who probably meant alot to you before, doesnt mean that much anymore...or sadly, doesnt mean a thing anymore. and you force yourself to believe that there is still something there, something keeping you guys together. but you realise that, that particular something is now gone. forever.

People always leave. not to be sadistic peyton from onetreehill, but seriously, people ALWAYS leave. There is NO such thing as living the moments we once used to share because frankly everyone has moved on. time doesnt wait, neither do people. We may all have shared something special with each other in one point in our lives, but thats the past and its over. People move on with different lifestyle and priorities..and they drift apart.

I am grateful to have certain people in my life who stayed on with me. you know who you guys are! i am thankful that even if we're near or miles apart on opposite ends of the world, we still care. and i guess thats what true friends are, the people that stick with you. forever.

It disgusts me when someone talks about replacing friends. you cant replace friends. YOU JUST CANT. you can meet new ones, but no one out there will ever replace the old friends that you have.

So we're all on different pages in our lives right now. I have a feeling that one day we'll be on the same pages like we were before, and we'll definitely relive those moments again.

Until then, i hope you all have wonderful lives. and i promise, that we'll be on the same page one day.

Midnight Guilty Pleasures

2007-02-17T00:17:00.000-08:00

Yeah okay i was bored and decided to show you what i was up to at 2 in the morning. <3

We watched GhostRider today! that movie is super cool. so so so thrilling. and the boy who plays teenage version of nicholas cage is HOTT. okay now you guys wanna go watch ;) you wont regret it.

whats new? schoool and such. very time consuming. 3 more months and it'll all be over

uurgh my brain functions weirdly at 2am..i had this really good chicken fajita burrito at chipotle, this mexican restaurant. its realllllly good. yum. which reminds me of my comm group whos having a sugar rush party..coffee icecream brownies doughnuts and candy! how much sugar rush can you get at one go?!

i have random thoughts in my head..must be the weed i smoked earlier today......KIDDING.

omg i wanna go vegas. reallyyyyy. lets go sinnnnn like crazy

oh happy chinese new year for those celebrating! :)

my sociology class just had to show this video on FGM. dont look it up i swear u'll regret it. it made me wanna pass out.

sarahs got a pretty diamond ring.....is diamond really a womans best friend? i dont know...they're pretty but im not like omg dying to get one or anything. its just a stone.

my room is messy reallly. ughguhguhgguh. stupiddd

ok i think im going to bed noww. i'll prob wake up in the morning and deleate this shiat.

byeeeee

THE BIG ONE-EIGHT

2007-02-06T21:04:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
IM 18 FINALLY.

not that i was desperately waiting to turn 18 anyway..because you cant do anything here except for vote. lame, i know. 18 so far has me cranking my 18 year old brain to do a mythology essay thats due tomorrow. i mean i cant believe ive survived 18 years of my life, and in 18 hours i have to go to the college safely department to get my fingerpriniting done. In 18 weeks, my semester would be over and in 18 minutes i hope that i will finish my essay. 18 seconds ago, i was...well 17 (:

so 17 has came and gone..so fast. i still remember saying this when i was 16.."damn 17 is gonna be sucha green day year"..and it was, because i was emo alot..and yes, i considered greenday emo dont ask why. so im saying this now. "18 is going to be very fabulous, glam and expensive" and i will still continue to read and subscibe to seventeen magazines until im 50 okay..so dont ask me if im still gonna read seventeen even though im 18. stupid question, like durrrr.

well this year is going to be very intersting, really. new campus, new people, more travelling, more expenses(ew), more responsibilities(ew), more boys(can never get sick of that one) more adventures, more parties, and hopefully less drama. nobody likes drama..seriously, i feel bad for those laguna beach kids..drama is like a daily thing for them. i mean, you step into the shower for like 30 mins, the next thing you know, someone hooked up with your boyfriend. how sad but really entertaining to watch.

so when are we all going out to party!? SPRING BREAK OKAY!

lovelove,
the 18 but not legal kav:)

another day, just breathe

2007-02-02T07:10:00.000-08:00

3 weeks of school has passed by fast. Its 2007, and january is already gone :( why does time fly so fast? it didnt fly fast when i was in secondary school. time kinda went by nice and slow those days. i had time to make mistakes and regret it. i had time to have fun and have more fun. i had time to listen and learn and feel and breathe and sing and love and do those over and over and over again. and id still have time in the end.

what happened now? everydays a rush. everynight i go to sleep with a list of never ending chores/homework/wishes/problems to do/solve the next day. everyday i leave the house way before the sun rises, and every day i come home way after the sun sets. wheres the light gone to? how did i forget to stop and notice everything going on around me? what have i become?

Isnt there more to life? I dont want to just study and work and get married and have kids and die. i want to experience and do crazy things.. sometimes i just want to gather all my belongings into a huge pink travel bag and jump on a plane and go see the world. anyone wanna join me?

turning 18 on wednesday people! see only two years of teen life left! i dont want! then sooner or later, im gonna be a grandmother. TIME PLEASE PLEASE PLEEASE SLOW DOWN A BIT.

im not ready to live life so fast.

Whats under your mask?

2007-01-27T21:44:00.000-08:00

The real kav has moodswings like crazy.
If you're close to me, you know that. You know im happy for a while, and i can get totally pissed the next minute.

and the slightest annoyance can trigger me, really.
even if its just mentioning something/someone i dont like.
it fucks up my whole day.

I realise that im a silent killer.
if you're in my good books, i'll treasure you with all my heart.
but once you're in the bad books, you better just stay away from me to save your own life.
I always tell people to give second chances. If i loved you dearly, and you screwed up, hell yes i would give you a second chance. but if i dont give you one, you were in my bad books to begin with.

i have met people in my life who think/act/see/believe the way i do. but very few. very very very few. and they're the ones whom i click with.

im not on pills, dont worry. just random thoughts. you know the whole one thing leads to another, to another..

Theres something i would never understand.
and it hurts because,
i want to.

but i never will :(

Its expensive being a girl

2007-01-27T09:59:00.000-08:00

yeah girls, we all know this. and incase you havent guessed, why a sudden post like this?

IM BROKE.

i hate the car. i hate the car i hate the car. i know i shouldnt be blaming this on the car but who else can i blame it on?! (besides me) For the past 2 weeks since school started, ive been out everysingle day- because i had the car. i went from 100 bucks to zero in like an hour.. im spending money like crazy, applebees happy hour friday nights two weekends in a row. movies every week. school supplies. and gas! my dad refused paying for gas...so there went my 20 bucks.

and then when you imagine that things cannot get any worse, your personal expenses kick in. i run out of shampoo and conditioner, which is bad cause if you are like me, you splurge on expensive products because..well because its your hair for gods sake..so i was supposed to get hair products right? i ended up with ooo this lotion smells good BUY. ooo nice nailpolish color BUY oooo cosmogirl magazine BUY ooo vanilla apple candle BUY.

i need a job but i seriously cant because, im way over full time, carrying the load of twice a full time student does! so how?! i got back last night at midnight, got into the house, surrendered the car keys to my dad..and dropped dead for a long nights rest. i woke up this morning, and my dad goes, my daughter just gave me her car keys, this must be a dream.

okay so reality check. i took the keys back cause i need the car to get to school and i need to be more responsible!!

or get a rich boyfriend!

stupid car!

Driving Solo

2007-01-17T07:11:00.000-08:00

Yup, i am finally driving solo to school. It was a bit scary at first, cause im so used to having someone sitting beside me and talking to me; i found myself talking to....myself.

sigh, i know. but it was the only way to calm me down. it went something like this, "okay kav..you're doing good. turn left, watch for the car beside you..dont hit it..or you'll be screwed for life..okay go slow..go slow.. "

HONKKHONKKK! *moment of interuption*

"ohmygod someone is honking at me, god what did i do wrong. am i on the right lane?! yes, im on the right lane. okay, im too slow. pick up speed. pick up. slowly. okay now give way. take a deep breath. okay im good. im good... now what are the chances a hot guy will drive by and i'll lose focus?..okay look at the road..looklook. uni avenue, okay turn ohmygod im in school!

*SCREAMS LIKE A LOSER*

im so proud of myself :)

that aside, my first class just ended and im at the commons waiting for my second class to start. POLITICAL SCIENCE!! what have i got myself into!?! me and politics dont go in the same sentence. government who? politics what? i dont have political views and opinions and whatnot! i dont care if war is declared or if constitutions are being passed. i dont! im not in any political group and i dont support whatever they do. but, this is a required class and its probably going to be filled with the future politicians of america. a.k.a not my kinda people! ewwww. history and government majors get away from me. you and me are NOT on the same side of the world, thank you.

moving on...

Why is it so hard to tell someone you like them but so easy to tell them that you hate them? Its not the hardest thing in the world to tell someone you like them, you know. look around, there are harder things that people are going through; poverty, war, losing a life of someone you love, hatred, racism. it all affects us. but what have you got to lose? maybe a broken heart? maybe a friend? a broken heart can be mended and a friend can be regained.

i mean, what is life anyway? we are all going to die at some point so why not live it to the fullest with no regrets. do what makes you happy, regardless. life is all about taking risks, and if we dont do that, we'll never be satisfied. ever.

like the lyrics 'Breakaway' by Kelly clarkson,

Take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
and breakaway.

Ski Trip

2007-01-15T17:55:00.000-08:00

We drove up to the mountains in Flagstaff yesterday morning. It was freeezing on the 3 hour drive up thanks to my brilliant dad who decided to take our car even knowing that the heater wasnt working.

yeah, i know.

it was death i tell you. probably the closest i have ever experienced to death besides the bus accident in primary school. yeah, i was involved in a bus accident. (raise your eyebrows people) it was torture and i was complaining throughout the entire trip, and i had all the right to, because i DID specifically tell him to use his friend's car. but he simple replied, "oh its not gonna be that cold, dont be so weak"

then came the time of desperation.. i was literally freezing to death. smoke came out when i spoke, even in the car (so now u know how cold it was) but wait, it gets even worse. we're still driving up and dad says he cant feel his foot. so im like yay we are going to crash. and freeze to death. and if you thought that was bad, minutes later, the car screen got misty, i tried wiping it but it didnt work. then i hesitated for a second. i used my fingernail and scratch the window(from the inside) and it was snow! SNOW! snow was forming inside the car. IT WAS ZERO DEGREE CELCIUS inside. honeslty at that time, i felt like i was going to die titanic style. no wonder why rose pushed jack into the freezing water, it was really cold! and all this while i thought she was a bitch trying to save her sorry ass. i mean, i would have pushed a hot guy towards his death too at this state..

okay enough drama. but i was serious about what happened. we got there and met up with the rest aka my dads amigos and we played snow attack! it was really fun until someone shoved a whole ball of snow down my pants! so being me, i started to scream and run around. runrun slip fall ouch runrunn slide fall ouch runrunrun jump slide. I climbed up this steep hill and slided all the way down, it was so fun and so cold.

Later we decided to go to Fort Tu Hill, this really awesome skii paradise! i saw josh there and he was with his familia. we climbed all the way up and there was this huge slope that led all the way down and you couldnt even see it cause it was that far down. i shared a tube with my dads friend and we got pushed down the slope (thanks to the army men that sabotaged us) and alllll the wayyyyyyyyyy downnnnn.

then we went skiing and it rocked big time. hahaha i totally lost track on the number of times i fell. and it hurt too cause of the rocks. i have big badass bruises and cuts on my arms and legs but it was all worth it in the end(:

school starts tomorrow. me and josh and gonna compare whose bruises are bigger! my body aches and im such in a bad state and i look so unglam with these cuts.

and dont forget people, my bithday is on 7th feb! MARK YOUR CALENDERS!! CAUSE ITS THE BIG ONE-EIGHT! (:

oh we may be going up skiing again in 3 weeks. anyone wanna join? it will be fun. with heater in the car, of course.

Priorities priorities..

2007-01-11T07:59:00.000-08:00

These past few days have been super busy! Been going back and forth to ASU like crazy. and school is starting next tuesday..i have to get myself together, im literally all over the place. i need to start thinking straight and stop getting sidetracked all the time. PRIORITIES KAV!

I love watching Ugly Betty. its really hilarious and hot! I lovelovelove obviously Daniel, the manager of MODE and that gay guy backstabber who loves gucci bags and luis vuitton boots! hes sucha bitch i tell you. and of course, snazzy amanda, whos like best friends with guccibag lover. if you havent heard of ugly betty, which side of the world are you on man!?! GO WATCH ;)

Beauty and the Geek this season is alright so far. Its so biased cause the blondes have their own clique and the brunettes have their own. how pathetic, and honestly, i have never seen a bunch of dumber blondes in my life before. such losers!

Real World Denver is moving quite good. and you guys are only watching it to see alex on teevee!! haha, okay i was too! :)

okay enough on reality tv, but before i go, WHY THE HELL IS JOEL MADDEN GOING OUT WITH NICOLE RICHIE!? ohmygod! they were spotted making out on some beach. joel is sucha loser man, GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT AND DATE THE RIGHT GIRL, your album is debuting next month and show some dignity so your fans will buy them!

okay im off now. go watch reality tv, its awesome(:

Welcome 2007

2007-01-01T13:07:00.000-08:00

Its a brand new year.

When the 10 second countdown to 2007 started, the world just stopped, time froze and everything went in slow motion. I stood there, dazed. The outside world just went mute. Memories just flashing by one by one right infront of me. Good memories with friends and family gave me a tinge of nostalgia which my heart grabbed hold of to bring to the next year. then the bad memories flew by, crashing hard. REAL HARD. i burned them, burned all of them. those memories were meant to stay in 2006.

so goodbye 2006. you have been a year filled with EVERYTHING i did not expect. i learned from you alot, and i definitely grew alot. you made me who i am today; a better, stronger person.

If there was something i learned the most in 06, it would be that if you want something, go get it. dont wait for it to come to you, cause it wont.

and welcome 2007! IM AM MORE THAN READY FOR YOU! and a whole year of life challenges, fun, experiences and a whole lotta drama.

Goodmorning world! and hope you all have an awesome 07!

<3

Oh, one more thing.
something i posted last new year.

ive learnt that the people you love are taken from you too soon, and the less important ones just never seem to go away...

so true

New Year's Eve

2006-12-31T07:54:00.000-08:00

For those who are going for countdown in phoenix city, be safe!
Its raining bad, dont drink and drive. (traffic will be bad)
For the rest,
I will see you at trish's house tonight.
Friends, booze and mtv countdown.

Happy New Years Eve.

So, here's to the nights we feel alive. <3

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-25T08:15:00.000-08:00

HELLO EVERYONE! iTS CHRISTMAS 2006! OMFGSZX.

Well Merry Christmas to all!! Hope you had a kick-ass christmas to my darlings in sg! and hope everyone in zona has a blast for the rest of today!

Guess what Santa got me for christmas! ......NOTHING! ive been sucha bad girl this year. hahah. but i sure did get gifts from mi familia and mi amigos! yay! i looove you people! josh gave me this weird gift ok, its a book with a big KS on the front. i know it stands for my initials! but thats not whats inside if you get what i mean! hes so kinky man.

and i finally got a new cellphone! ~~i dont know why although it would have been awesome to get my digicam back~~ i guess the cellphones good. its samsung t3-something. its cute and it definitely beats my ~~old cave woman style~~ nokia! so yeahh got books and jewelry and food and bath whatnots from the rest! thankyou!! i feel so loved!

this year we didnt have a christmas tree. last year we did! i miss putting up the christmas tree with my aunt! :( she better come next year to visit.

anyway, tis the season to be jolly. forgive? forget. move on. give second chances. apologise. reunite. finish whatever unfinished buisness you have for the next 5 days. and start afresh for 2007!

and new years resolutions? pfft. dont even go there. you're gonna stick to it till mid jan, and then move on with life.

this year probably has to be the toughest year of my life. big changes. HUGE experiences. different lifestyle. and it also came with amazing people, awesome challenges, and a whole lot of fun. i think i got a touch on how the real world is. and i wanna shoutout to everyone who has been there for me, put up with my weird quirks and randomness, saved me from trouble, taught me such important things in life, guided me, and so on. and a huge thanks to the best shitbrick the whole world aka my partner in crime aka the best bitch ever, you know who you are you boobbanana! I LOVE YOU GUYS TO DEATH, YOU ARE THE MOST AMAZING PEOPLE ON EARTH.

this is our song.

My Christmas List - Simple Plan

Santa is coming tonight
And I want a car, and I want a life
And I want a first class trip to Hawaii
I want a lifetime supply
Of skittles & slurpees and Eskimo pies
I want a DVD,
A big screen TV
Just bring me things that I don't need

[CHORUS:]
'Cuz now it's Christmas
And I want everything
I just can't wait
Christmas
So don't stop spending
I want a million gifts, that's right
Don't forget my Christmas list tonight
'Cuz now it's Christmas

Somebody take me away
Or give me a time machine
To take me straight to midnight
I'll be alright

I want a girl in my bed
Who knows what to do
A PlayStation 2
I want a shopping spree
In New York City
Just bring me things that I don't need

[CHORUS]

I wish I could take this day
And make it last forever
And no matter what I get tonight
I want more

It's Christmas and I want everything
I just can't wait
It's Christmas and I want everything now

Christmas
And I want everything
I just can't wait
Christmas
So don't stop spending, I
Want a million gifts,
That's right
And I can't wait 'til midnight so
Don't forget my Christmas list tonight
'Cuz now it's Christmas

<3

survey time

2006-12-21T08:42:00.000-08:00

In the past week................

I have been catching up on all sleep needed since the semester first started.
I attended a few pre-christmas dinners.
I went for retail therapy christmas shopping with janelle.
I also went christmas shopping with mom. (which i almost died, cause of the damn heels)
I went back to college to register for classes
I went back to school to get my grades...AND
I got a B for espanol! (which i thought i was gonna fail)
I cleaned my room . (LIKE OMFGZS)
I met up with mi amigos and we ate at OUTBACK STEAK yum!
I went to watch Eragon with Faith and Josiah.
I am broke.

For next week........................ (as of today)

I am going to for a string of christmas parties!
I am santas helper! YAYYY
I am going to clean my room AGAIN cause we're having a party.
I am going to do christmas charity cause im a good girl.
I am going for a sleepover AND
I will catch up on more sleeeeeep.

and here's a survey just cause im bored.

*Odd Facts about ME*
DO YOU SNORE?:	nopeee. but i know who did at sec4 camp! ASK ME ASK ME!
LOVER OR A FIGHTER?:	lover most of the time. get on my nerves, then ur screwed
WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?:	hah. its not just a cliched fear. its pretty life-threatening
AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO BUILDER?:	yes! haha. i played with lego alot. i remember the train ones, the lego with wheels! do you?
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY TV"?:	i live on it! i can sit at home ALL DAY and watch the real world, the duel, beauty n geek, basically everything on mtv or E!
DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?:	nope. never had that habit.
WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?:	i was a round baby!HAHA
HOW IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?:	awesomer than awesome!
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?:	black
DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?:	yeah duh!
HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?:	yes yes ii have!! I REALLLY HAVE!
ANY SECRET TALENTS?:	haha wouldnt u like to know
WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?:	lets see um, keywest! hawaii, bahamas, maui, long beach, cali, vegas! (when im 21)
HAVE YOU EATEN SUSHI?:	yes and i love it! uh the cooked ones that is
HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?:	nopee
DO YOU GIVE A DARN ABOUT THE OZONE?:	not really haha. im not an environmentalist!
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?:	like 28403489021349023! haha just bite it la!
CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?:	no. im not THAT bored
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?:	omg no..i wonder how it feels like to be high beyond the clouds...i wonder how it looks inside..i heard the toilet is really small.
ARE SPEEDO'S HOT?:	YES! if you have the bod.
WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?:	hunting? uhh i hunt for food in the fridge..
IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?:	haha how would i know! yes apparently im getting married at 21. we'll see
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?:	i havent written in ages..all typed. i think the last time i wrote was during o's?
WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?:	i dont know. jerks?
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU":	maybe today.
IS TUPAC STILL ALIVE?:	who the hell is that?
DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?:	no.. i never actually went to one that made me cry. except when my eyes dry out and i need visine for my contacts.
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?:	scrambled
ARE BLONDES DUMB?:	haha whoooa. i have very smart blonde friends thank you.
WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?:	uhh what kinda question is this!
WHAT TIME IS IT?:	10:17am
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?:	uhh kav, kavvy, kavvo, kay. weird i know
IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?:	they have nice oily delish fries
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?:	last night
DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?:	showers!
IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL?:	yes he is! he better bring me my presents!
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?:	yes.
WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?:	this will go on forever
CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?:	ew peanut butter in general is gross!
HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?:	nope and i dont want to.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?:	i havent! OMG
IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?:	drugs is bad.
ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS?:	nopee
HAVE YOU EVER HITCH HIKED?:	yeeep
WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?:	brown
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:	hmmm
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?:	i never am satisfied with life. ever.
WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?:	id say i rather stick with mine
ARE YOU PSYCHIC?:	ooo i would love to be one
HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?:	yes i have. who hasnt?
DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?:	nopee. i have no patience
CAN YOU SKATEBOARD?:	yesyes! haha at least average.
DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?:	sure. :)
DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?:	no
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?:	yes
IS A DOG A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?:	not reallly. a dog is forced to be a man's best friend HAHA
YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?:	yeah. should divorce la..how can u stay with a cheating husband?
CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?:	noppe
DOES YOUR MOM KNOW YOU HAVE A MYSPACE?:	haha no way!
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?:	um drank. caprisun
DO YOU WEAR NAILPOLISH?:	yesss
DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?:	i love you all!
WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?:	omg the stupid visine commercial with that monotoned dude
DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?:	yep sure do
FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?:	all american rejects baby
Take this survey \| Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

Weapons in the form of words

2006-12-13T13:39:00.000-08:00

This environment or should i say world is filled with competativeness. Its in the air, we breathe and live it daily. From whos ipod is better to who has the cutest dress to whos car is the most expensive to who has the hottest body to who can dance like britneyspears to who gets the best grade(those spastic primary school days EW). Now that i think of it, its so fucking competative out there! Everyone wants to be the best of the best! You're dream job? There's like a thousand other people competing with you to get that job!

and we've experienced it all, havent we? Speech days are like days that determine your future, whether you ace it like no one else or whether you screw up so badly and come crashing down hard. You can just feel it you know, the adrenaline, when your palms get so sweaty and your heart starts to race while your climbing up those stairs (praying that you wont trip over your 5 inch heels) to the podium to deliver your speech. Then you can see all eyes staring at you, eyes with different expressions, some inquisitive about what you are gonna talk about. and..the rest, aka the other speakers who stare at you, with a hint of squint, and a nasty grin. and the hope that you will stumble over your words, lose your train of thought and um, most preferbely pass out.

Then if you're unlucky like me, you also have to deal with people like Josh, who asks you random silly questions like 10 seconds before you are being called up to speak.

Josh : Kav..why is it that girls always fall for ego self-obesessed jerks, and complain about them when all the nice guys like me are available?

Kav : Yeah? So tell me why is it that guys always fall for girls that are whores, bitches or plastics??

Josh: You mean girls like you.

Kav: What is THAT supposed to mean. thanks alot dork!

Finding strength in memories

2006-12-11T12:38:00.000-08:00

Its the last week of school and im sad but happy at the same time. The party on Friday was the last time im probably gonna see most of my classmates. :( and yes, nicky did bake those brownies for alex. A little tribute to all, thanks for being there and making even the worst boring lectures become the best that i actually look forward to them. I'll never forget our fun lunch breaks, rushing to the malls during the minimum hour breaks that we have in between our classes, shoe shopping like crazy, flirting with starbucks latte boys, and especially organizing school events and such. ohman how could i ever forget giving speeches in formal wear with those heels KILLING my feet. and then substituting heels with converse sneakers and looking like a retard. ah such great memories.

This week is packed with finals. and in 20 days, its gonna be 2007. It feels like the semester just started yesterday. Why is time passing so fast? im not saying its a bad thing. its just..scary. time never waits for you and we're always on the go. always. I had a chat with josh, and he knows my schedule inside out cause im always complaining on how busy my schedule is and how i dont have time for anything! and throughout the whole semester hes been telling me to slow down and look around me and stop rushing thru everything. man its crazy how we live our lives these days. its so hard being a teenager in the 21st century.

We learn from our mistakes and we grow from our memories. Memories are what keeps us going. memories are the only thing we have of the past. oh and pictures too. but pictures fade, memories last forever. They give us a sense of nostaliga, an excitement that makes our blood shoot and gets us all pumped. its good to find strength in memories, cause thats what we experience and learn from.

Anyways, my darlings in sg! I MISS YOU GUYS! I miss hanging out with you guys, you're like family and i love you mucho. its the holidays so have fun, keep safe and dont drink and drive! and thank god for mrts and taxis to keep u away from vehicles, unlike here. love you babies!

counting down.. 3 more days..

<3333333

PARTY like theres no tomorrow

2006-12-08T15:08:00.000-08:00

Well its a friday and im at jan's place sprawled on her bed tummy down and using her laptop. and shes is uhhh well in the bathroom trying to do her hair AND SHES BEEN IN THERE FOR AN HOUR ALREADY.. theres also nicky somewhere in the kitchen watching oprah? and baking brownies for a certain someone..and now shes screaming at me to come help her but i wont cause im too lazy like that..oh and ryan aka ninjah man! is sprawled beside me and for the past hour while janelle was trying fix her hair and nicky was baking brownies? when does nicky ever do that?!! this person must be really special! me and ninjah have been myspace hopping and dissing plastic/scene kids. which is uh very fun and entertaining.

We're getting ready to go to a frat party in 3 hours! yay! i havent been to one since this stupid hectic semester started so im pumped baybeh! Its up at Tempe ASU where all our seniors go plus this year, we have kids from UCLA and Washingon so thats pretty rad. yup and we're all going in cocktail dresses cause its formal..ive never heard of a formal frat party but that sounds hot.

So today was the last day of classes for most of us, and it was so sad i tell you. Six months with these people was a pain but at the same time wonderful! and we dont have classes together next semester when ryan moves downtown to go to asu west, nicky is working and me and jan dont have classes together anymore! :( how how HOWWWW.. :( bt nonetheless, we'll keep in touch. We were crying so much today and even Dr. Ro, our communications lecturer cried! this was the one class that i was super close with everyone. but im having Dr.Ro next semester for small group comm so thats great!

ahhh i hate goodbyes. but im so used to it to the point that sometimes it doesnt hurt anymore

so lets see what else um oh yeah! Family Vacation. We'll be in vegas for new years eve! Yup my mom and dad were complaining on how im constantly out with friends and never with family so they had, i repeat, HAD to go vegas on new years eve.. so yes mi amigos this year new years eve is being well spent(and monitered) by my lovely parents. which is like, the total opposite of what happened last year! and you guys remember it! i remember last new years eve like it was yesterday! but im not complaining.......i shall go spend new years with them.

and thats not all, guess where we're going in January? HAWAIII BABY! omg. I know but only for like 4 days. wtf? but still, id kill to go hawaii. its gonna be a blast! yay. that makes me a 100000 times more happy that the semester is gonna be over in 6 days.

its just kinda sunk in on how fast this year has passed. almost. gotta make the most outta these hols cause next semester starts on 17th January! rawwwr. omg i smell brownies yummmmm. i shall go steal them.

ohoh! If u guys have been watching, Alex from The Real World Denver, is gonna be at the frat party tonight because he goes to ASU! and maybe thats who nicky is baking brownies for..hmm. shes not telling us yet but i'll def dish the details out in the next post. If you're in highschool right now, in your senior year, and your dream is to get into Arizona State University because they have the nation's best Journalism and Mass Comm school, i advise you dont! haha kidding. because unfortunately, it is true, ASU is the party school of the nation. Theres parties every week! Highest drop-out rate, nationwide. extremely social people. extreme parties. but the uni, teachers and everything is awesome, if you can handle it. Pick up an issue of this months CosmoGirl, the one with Christina Aguilara on the front cover, flip to page 24, and read the comment!

well im off to party people! keep safe and have a great weekend!!

<33333

2006-12-05T22:26:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it amazes me how people can be so fucking obsessed at that moment, and become a totally different person. remember who you were and where you came from. and the people who made you, you. you're lost and you're starting to push away who u really are. this world is turning us into cold-hearted humans, and if faking it determines the way we should live our lives, deep down inside, who are we all really?